Self-Therapy Class Journal Entry: Mitch’s response to her suckish life
Hello. My name is Micheline, Mitch for short, and I hate Destiney Hay.
Honestly, she wouldn’t be that bad, except for the fact that she is the reincarnation of the devil himself.
Five hours seem like nothing, but when you are spending every waking moment of those five hours with freakin’ Destiney Hay, you start to go insane. I surrendered my sanity after the first 15 minutes. Whether it was a “getting to know you” party, or a moving in extravaganza, or even quiet time, she was always there. The worst part was that every time she opened her mouth my inner self liked her more and more.
I mean she could literally say “Could you please pass the salt, sweetheart?” and my conscience would be like “She used proper grammar. She said please. She said sweetheart. You say sweetheart. She IS an angel. You two should be besties forever!” And my stubborn personality is like “No, just no. She ruined my life. I hate her. Even if she wasn’t dating Kirk, I would still hate her. So, no.” Then I would go smoke a cigarette.
But in actual reality, she is bad news, especially for Kirk. She is worse news than Sarah was for Watson in Season One. She flirts with every guy she sees. She was even flirting with Sanjay. Sanjay! He is such a weirdo. He wasn’t even acknowledging her presence, but no, Miss Perfect here had to start up a conversation exclaiming her love for everything that brings me joy in the world. Which also raised the sexual tension in the room from none what-so-ever to cutable with a school approved plastic play knife. And that’s not even when she is with Kirk!
I had to wonderful experience of sitting with her highness and Kirk during an assembly and on an awkward scale of health class to ex-boyfriends they were the drunk party-goer crashing the school board meeting that is live televised across the state. They don’t even seem like they would be good together. Separate? Sure! Together? Just write the T.V. sitcom now! I don’t even try to hide my anger towards her. And she knows that I hate her to some degree, it’s just Kirk I can’t understand.
Even now in “self-therapy” class he thinks it’s just fine to sit right across from me and talk about how great it is having his “two best friends here with him at once.” It never ends! That’s the thing about red or yellow ward. The doctors think that being around people is curing your disorder, so I’m always around one of them. If I’m with Destiney it’s evil eye stares and cussing under my breath. If I’m with Kirk it’s me dropping subtle comments about Destiney and her despicable-ness. But he never gets the hint! I actually think that he thinks I like talking about her, therefore me and her are best friends. But my God, will these 72 hours ever end?!
