Curse Me

Chapter 1

"Bull spit!" I cried out as the tequila shots passed the back of my throat.

"Careful Lee," my best friend Asher warned. "That was almost a real curse. My poor virgin ears!" He cupped his aforementioned ears in mock horror.

Asher always teased me on my creative way of swearing. Being raised by strict and old fashioned parents led me to be creative in a number of areas in my life growing up. Tequila, however, had a tendency to remove those filters along with your clothes.

"Well, I think the occasion would allow for some colorful language at the moment," I defended. "Besides, there's nothing virgin about you or any of your orifices."

"That is true," Asher nodded as he raised his empty shot glass in a toast.

"Urghh...I can't believe they let me go without any notice! Five years! Just 'thanks for your hard work and dedication, but due to "restructuring" (I air quoted that word for the tenth time that evening) we no longer feel your position is required'," I repeated in my most pompous voice. "I knew the merger six months ago was going to lead to layoffs no matter what the higher-ups said. I should have started getting my resume ready then." I buried my head into my arms on the table and mumbled "I hate job hunting."

"Come on, did you even like your job? Besides, administrative jobs are a dime a dozen. And you've only job hunted once...for that job." Asher, my no nonsense bff. That is, unless it's his nonsense.

"That's not the point," I grumbled as I lifted my head just high enough to give him the stink eye.

"Then get to the point," he countered.

"It's...I...urghh. I hate job hunting," I repeat.

"No, you hate change," Asher corrected.

I buried my face deeper in my arms. Asher was right, but I refused to let him know he was right. I wasn't in love with my job. It wasn't bad, it just...was. A generic administrative assistant office job for a generic mid-level company; Monday through Friday, average pay, decent benefits. I wasn't particularly close to any of my co-workers either, even after five years. Many had come and gone over those years too. I grinded my way through the week, the days all blending together in a familiar blur. 

And I was just as generic as my job - that's what stung the most.

"So go on unemployment and spend some time focusing on your writing. It's not like our bills are that extravagant that we can't manage. Besides, if you become a big time author then maybe I can finally live the lifestyle I was so destined for with my Sugar Momma," Asher said with a wink.

"Oh please. I'm not putting my eggs in that basket. Sure I love writing, and maybe you think it's decent, but all it will ever be is my creative outlet, not my career. Dreams die when you turn your passion into a job."

"I can always pass along your resume-"

"No!" I cut him off. "I love you and I know you love your job, but we are so not working together. We would get sick of each other's faces and I'm not risking our friendship for a mediocre paycheck."

"No one could ever get sick of this gorgeous face," Asher preened. "But I see your point."

Asher and I had been best friends since college. We'd been floor mates and shared a few classes, but it took no time for our kindred souls to recognize each other. We both grew up pretending we were someone we're not to parents that still didn't particularly care for us anyways. After college we set off together to make our own way in this world. Asher had done a better job of that than me.

Asher wasn't exaggerating about his gorgeous face. He truly was a magnificent specimen. He was tall, lean and had strong flawless features. We had almost the same shade of dark blonde hair but his eyes were bluer than my more greyish ones. We were often mistaken for siblings, which was fine with us, especially if we were out looking for a little fun.

Asher definitely didn't have any trouble in that department. He was confident and funny and could charm the pants off any girl in the room. However, it was the guys pants he preferred to remove. He'd occasionally entertain a girl or two; he wasn't completely opposed. He just enjoyed sex. Relationships however - not so much.

My excuse? Well, I wasn't quite sure. I wasn't opposed to a relationship, I just hadn't found anyone that I felt like pursuing one with. Or maybe it was the fact I already had a perfect relationship with Asher - minus the sex. We lived together, spent our free time together, knew everything about each other. Heck, we snuggled and watched Netflix on weekends. It was like we had an open marriage; go out and have all the sex you want as long as you come home at the end of the day. Unfortunately, Asher was the only one getting any lately.

I really hadn't changed as much as I had convinced myself I had all these years. Another wave of desperation crashed over me.

"I'm going to get us another round. Pull yourself together while I'm gone. Self-pity isn't a good look on you."

"Couch licker," I retorted but lifted my head from the table and straightened my back. Asher snickered and made his way toward the bar.

The Friday night rush was starting and Asher had to weave through the people that were congregating. I scanned the room and noticed a few regulars like Asher and myself, but for the most part there were mainly new faces. That was the nice thing about Charleston; the diversity due to both transplants and tourists.

Both Asher and myself were new to the area when we moved here five years ago. There wasn't any particular reason we chose Charleston, except that is was far enough away from our homes. The beautiful and historic local was just a huge bonus. I don't think I could imagine living anywhere else.

It seemed the Purple Fork wasn't disappointing tonight. I looked back at the bar to see how Asher was coming along and saw he was deep in conversation with a very pretty guy. Well, looks like my pity party was officially over. I debated for a moment looking for a distraction for myself but decided I really wasn't in the mood. I collected my things and maneuvered my way to Asher.

"Hey big bro! Don't mean to interrupt your conversation but I'm going to head home." I played the sibling card so pretty boy would make any incorrect assumptions.

"You sure sis?" Asher asked playing along.

"Yeah, I'm bushed. I'll see you later." I gave him a reassuring smile and a wink letting him know that I was perfectly fine and to carry on.

The Purple Fork was only two blocks away from our apartment but the walk alone made it feel so much farther. I've spent most of my life in my own company and can usually appreciate it. But tonight...not so much.

As soon as I got home I changed into my most comfy pajamas and contemplated working on my resume. I didn't think I was in the most positive state of mind and didn't want to "accidentally" list my qualifications as "blends in well with accent furniture" or "willing to fill in for doormat" or "least likely to cause any sort of drama (or anything close to interesting) within the workplace".  I quickly changed course and curled up on the couch and started up a new crime docuseries. Now these people thought outside the box!

About twenty minutes into my new favorite show I heard keys jingle and the front door open. Asher's room was just off the main entrance and I heard his door open then close. Well, it hadn't taken long to seal that deal. I figured I'd finish the episode I was watching then make my way to my room on the opposite side of the apartment, but a moment later Asher's door opened again.

"Scoot over," he said as he climbed into the couch behind me. "Is this the one where they try to get inside the murders heads?"

"Mmm hmm," I answered. Actual words might have betrayed how relieved I was that Asher had come home for me.

"Cool," he simply replied and we snuggled in for the next episode.