It Must Have Been The Wind(Trixya)

Chapter 20:Katya

Katya's POV
I flipped through the channels, bored out of my mind. I looked at my door, hoping that Trixie could come lay with me. I felt like I was going about this all wrong. Maybe I wasn't enough to help Trixie. I just wanted to be for her what I didn't have when I was with my ex boyfriend. After three years of not dating guys, the first guy I decide to get a chance is a prick. Even though Alex wasn't physically abusive, the mental and emotional abuse was enough for me. It wasn't easy remembering those two years, not because I didn't want to but because it was painful. I wanted to remember so I would never make the same mistake ever again. I never told anyone because I didn't wanna be some pity case but after relapsing, I had to. It was the source of the problem and it had to be addressed. I just wish I had said something before, or wish I had let someone in. Trixie is way stronger than I was, that is for sure. Trixie hadn't been out of her room in a few hours, but I waited. Waited and waited. Jinxk listened to me when I expressed my concerns, and let me know that they were valid. I wanted to make sure Trixie was happy, she needed to be happy. She deserves it. I ran my fingers through my hair and sat up. I cracked my neck and crawled out of bed. After I grabbed my towel, I walked to the bathroom. I started the water and sat on the side of the tub. Maybe I was over thinking all of them. Over thinking all of my insecurities. I wanted to help Trixie but maybe she didn't need my help, or maybe she didn't want my help. Before I knew it, I was crying. Crying because I didn't feel good enough to help a friend. A friend that I was starting to love. A friend who I loved more than I loved others. I started crying uncontrollably. I could feel water run over my back but I didn't care. I could barely move, I could barely feel myself breathing. "Katya..Katya? Are you okay?" I looked up to see Trixie rubbing her eyes. She leaned over me and turned off the water. She grabbed a few towels and cleaned up the water that ran out of the tub. She kneeled down and looked at me. "Katya, what's wrong?" I shook my head and stayed silent. "Please, talk to me Katya. Let me be here for you."

"I..I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Not being enough."

"Enough for what?"

"You. Enough to help you." Trixie sat beside me and put her hand on my knee.

"Katya, you are more than enough."

"I don't feel that way."

"Katya, look at me please." I forced myself to look at Trixie. She had a small smile on her face. A welcoming smile. "Kat, you tell me that you want me to come to you. You tell me that you are here to help me and that you are here to listen to me. Well, I am here for you. Your problems matter to me just like mine matter to you. This can't be a one sided friendship. I want to care for you like you care for me."

"Really?"

"Of course. You are important to me, and I know it may not seem like it because I'm always sad it seems like but I am thankful for you. You are making life better for me and you may not know that. But Kat," Trixie squeezed my hand as she looked me in my eyes. "I was worse than this before you came around. I didn't see a point in life before. I thought I was only meant to feel pain and sorrow. I didn't think I'd ever be happy or even feel any thing close to it. You asked me if I had ever felt happiness and the answer is yes. I feel it with you, I feel safe with you. Katya, you are more than enough for me and anyone else. I am so happy to be able to call you a friend. My world had fallen apart at such a young age and I never thought I'd be okay, but then my Russian caped crusader flew in and saved me. I could never repay you or thank you enough Katya, because you've done so much more than I thought I deserved." I hugged Trixie, crying into her hair. She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back. All my life I had to be okay, I had to push past all the feelings I had because everyone thought it meant I was gonna fall. When all I wanted was to sit down for a bit. They never think I'll get back up, but Trixie didn't care. She made sure I knew she would be there if I was on my feet or not.