It Must Have Been The Wind(Trixya)

Chapter 22:Trixie

Trixie's POV
"You'll do great Trix, don't worry." Katya and I had been sitting in the parking lot, looking at the office building of the Dr. Caldwell Tidicure, the therapist I was seeing today.

"I can't help but worry." Katya put her hand on my thigh, and smiled at me softly.

"Hey, I know it is a big step but I am here, I promise."

"I have just never done anything like this before. It is all too much, kinda. Kinda scary."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I had to try therapy."

"Why?"

"Remember when I told you about my relapse? That is why. I had to go to therapy to try and find a way to help myself, because I wasn't. I was so busy hiding from the problems that they made more problems. It's crazy how something hidden in the dark can grow and multiply when left by itself. It festers and just consumes, and that is what happen. My ex boyfriend was fucked up and I didn't know how bad until I started having problems because of what he said to me. I saw myself as this waste of space, trash, worthy of nothing but shit. It started to weigh down on me, made me change the way I dressed, the way I talked to people, the way I saw life really. It's what lead me to trying drugs, hard drugs. I tried to use them to forget, forget that I was some mess. Not because I actually was though but because I was made to believe that. Trixie, abuse is something that can last years after it is actually over. The mental abuse can follow you through your life if you don't get help. I want you to get help Trix, not because you are weak or anything but because I want you to have the best life for yourself." I could feel myself crying, I could feel my heart feel a little bit lighter. I undid my seat belt and leaned over, hugging Katya. She wrapped her arms around me and chuckled softly. "You're going to do just fine, I know it."

"Thank you Katya, forever. I don't deserve any of it."

"You deserve it all."

"Why do you say that?" I pulled back from Katya a little so I could look in her eyes.

"How about we talk about that later? You have an appointment to get to. I will be waiting for you but don't rush okay?" I nodded my head and took a deep breathe. I opened the car door and got out. I walked to the door, turned back and waved at Katya before walking inside. I looked around and felt a little better that no one was here. I walked to the front desk where a lady with red hair was typing on a keyboard.

"Um hello, I am here for an appointment."

"Okay dear, name?"

"Trixie, um I mean Beatrice Mattel." The red haired lady looked through a clipboard and smiled.

"Dr. Tidicure is waiting for you in his office. Last room on the right."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome dear." I smiled a little and walked to the back. I stopped before I reached the open door and room a deep breathe. I knocked on the open door and peeked inside.

"Come in." I walked into the office and stopped when I saw a man sitting in a chair.

"Uh I'm here to see Dr. Tidicure."

"Well here I am, and please call me Bob. Please, come sit." I walked further in the office and sat on the red little sofa across from Bob.

"My name is Trix-I mean Beatrice."

"It is nice to meet you Beatrice. How are you today?"

"Nervous."

"I understand that. But we can move at your pace, I am here to help you."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure, so what brings you in today."

"Uh, I need help."

"Okay, help with what may I ask?"

"Me, I guess. I'm a mess."

"Beatrice, first rule in my office we are not messes. We can't be cleaned with household products, no window cleaner or anything. You are a person that has problems just like the  rest of us okay?"

"Okay. Well, I um..I was in an abusive relationship with my ex boyfriend."

"Are you safe now?"

"Yes I am. I live with a friend now, she's out in the parking lot waiting for me. Her name is Katya."

"Can you tell me about Katya?"

"Oh, you don't want to hear about the relationship first?"

"No, I want you to feel safe. To have a safe anchor, and it seems like Katya is that for you so let's use her." I nodded my head and cleared my throat.

"Well, we met in the laundry room of the apartment complex we both lived in. It was like 3am, I always went  late because people make me nervous. The only reason I talked to her was because of her cat, well that was the thing that gave us a way to talk."

"It is the little things that can open doors."

"That is very true."

Dr. Tidicure and I talked for a hour and a half. After the first 30 minutes I was a bit more relaxed. As we were walking out of his office, I decided to make another appointment. "Thank you so much Dr. Tidicure, this wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"Well, I am glad to hear that Trixie. Remember to relax more okay?"

"Okay." Dr. Tidicure and I walked into the lobby and I smiled as soon as I saw Katya. She was sitting in a chair, reading some weird booklet. Katya put the booklet down when she saw me. I waved bye to Dr. Tidicure and walked outside with Katya.

"So, how was it?"

"It was okay, not like I thought it would be."

"I'm proud of you."

"Um me too."

"Ready to get some food now?"

"Yeah, I am kinda hungry." Katya held my hand as we walked. I really felt like life was turning around for me and I was excited for it.