A Pocket Full of Posies (Book 2)

Chapter Fourteen

I'm the most silent I think I've ever been in my life during the taxi ride back to the hotel. Annabel is equally as quiet. Carmen and Ava don't dare talk to me, but Carmen is holding my hand as we drive through Belfast. I'd never dare admit it out loud, but I'm grateful for it. John and Maeve have my phone number and I have theirs in case of any more questions, and to just generally stay in touch.

John looked on the verge of tears again when we said our goodbyes, and I feel guilty as hell for not remembering them because they don't half give a damn about me. John literally put his job on the line for my family. The guy could've faced prison time. Geez. I got the impression they'd resigned themselves to the belief we were all dead, so despite having to be the one to confirm my parents' and Annabel's deaths, I think they're crazy relieved I'm still kicking it.

I can't get my head around Connor. I have a brother. The possibility never even occurred to me. A goddamn brother. This stranger who's been haunting my visions this whole time is my brother. My thoughts jump to the memory of him taking me away from the road, and into the forest. It was him. He wiped my memory, didn't he? Least he got a spirit to do it. He wanted me to forget all of what happened. Why would he do that? Why would he want me to forget about him? Is it something bad? That makes zero sense.

In the vision, he said it was to keep me safe. Would having a perfect memory of everything be dangerous? I guess so. I can't fully comprehend how, but it's not far-fetched to think it. Ignorance is bliss, and all that. I rest my head back against the car seat and shut my eyes. I have a brother. I have a brother who survived the crash that killed the rest of my family. He's alive. Holy shit, I have a brother, and he's alive. 

Why hasn't he tried to find me?

"Don't ask," I snap before Tom can even open his mouth as we arrive back at the hotel. I give Carmen a wave that's meant to signify she can tell Tom and Jamie everything, but I've got no idea if that's how it comes across. "I'm going to my room for a nap."

"That bad?" I hear Jamie retort to one of the girls as I head for the lift.

"Yep," I mutter to myself as the doors close.

Annabel is already waiting for me as I enter the hotel room. She starts speaking at an impossibly fast speed, and I have to tell her to slow down.

"Do you not want to look for him ASAP?" she questions, her eyes practically bulging out of her skull.

"Yeah, I will, I will," I reply as I collapse onto the king-sized bed. "Don't worry, I'm not actually going to sleep. I just can't be arsed for Tom and Jamie right now."

"Don't you think it's weird I remember nothing about Connor?"

I shrug. "I guess, a bit. I dunno. Nothing exactly seems normal right now."

"It doesn't sit right with me," she says slowly. "You don't think the Murrays are hiding something, do you? Or there's something off about Connor?"

"Anything could be possible right now. None of Connor's behaviour makes sense for there to be anything off about him--not from what the Murrays said, and especially not from my visions. Everything in my bones is telling me to trust the Murrays."

Annabel nods in agreement.

"But we probably shouldn't assume anything at this point."

Annabel nods again, and we both turn silent. I'm suddenly itching to type Connor's name into a web browser. I grab my laptop from my backpack, and switch it on. As I'm setting it up, Annabel speaks again, but it's so quiet that it's barely audible.

"I'm not totally closed off to the idea of me turning dark."

I lift my head. She's looking at me, but her eyes aren't meeting mine.