P A I N

first year

wow okay yikes
so..
do you remember few years ago? when we were both in the same school, different classes, never really talked to each other in about a year but somehow we finally managed to get to know each other?

well um how did we do that...?
oh yeah, you talked to me first.
lol we were so funny haha sorry i was reminiscing our first conversation.
sucks we had to live knowing that conversation existed and now it doesn't mean anything to either one of us anymore because apparently we broke up. yup.

before we talk about how you got me in pain, let's talk about how i fell in love with this person i thought was my forever.

i don't know my exact position in your world but i was pretty much invisible, at least that's what i thought. being in high school was incredibly stressful to me, adapting with different kinds of people was definitely not the most exciting part in high school. everyday i go to school hoping that someday i go back home and get better and that i won't complain how much i want to change schools so bad but it never got better.
why?
because living as a girl in high school isn't the best thing ever. we gets judged a lot, and by a lot i mean every single person in my class judged me every single fucking day but thanks to my best friend, Lily she was the only person i could rely on at the time. we used to be really close once upon a time when we were like 8 in primary school but we lost connection after that because basically that's how it is. people come and they go but sometimes they come back. Lily is one of the people that came back.

Lily was not my best friend in primary school (but yes we were once). my best friends changed schools when we started high school and unfortunately for me, not just one or two but three of my best friends changed schools which also makes all of my best friends :) wow i know right? :)

so yeah, i was undeniably scared to start high school but Lily was the reason why i believed that high school isn't going to hurt me. yeah wait till the end of this story to find out if that's true lol.

Lily and I, we were the only different people in the class. i was the only person she knew in that class and at first she was close with this new student, Ally and apparently she was kinda famous though. she started to get close to me when she finds out that Ally is a little bit weird in her way. she was easily irritated by other people around her and she seems like she hates everyone but acts like she doesn't and yes, she hated me. reasons? only god knows.

i was kind of alone after i got into a fight with one of my friends there, Princess. yeah she was called with that name. so, Lily approached me because she caught me being alone in the class and she was always that kind of girl that doesn't like to bring down other girls and that's what i like about her. i was with her pretty much the whole year in that school and still, i don't know anything about this forever person yet.

he was totally invisible in my world. i remembered meeting you in the hall when one of my friends told me that you're her crush and my response was "he looks like chinese???"

neither did i know i have a thing with chinese guys but you do look like chinese to me but of course you're not. and that's the only time i remember your pale white face, messy justin bieber hair with those skinny legs and sleepy eyes that i thought were chinese thing.

i wonder, did you ever noticed me that year?