The Feeling

Confusion

A/N: Pimada and Violin are the names of the lead female characters of the MCOT series, War of High School. Watch it and enjoy the cat fight! It's soooo Serena van der Woodsen vs Blair Waldorf! But the story itself is like Pretty Little Liars.

xoxo

Forth POV

The morning after, Pim and I enjoyed a sumptous meal for breakfast in her apartment. I was enjoying my black coffee while she scrolls through her phone.

🎶I'm notorious for thinking you're
Full of beautiful instead of hollow🎶

"Yuck! So ugly!" Pim exclaimed.

"Look hon! Look how ugly Violin is in this picture!" She showed me her phone. "The nerve of her, sharing her uglyness to the world."

I raised an eyebrow.

Huh? That was petty.

"Aren't you bestfriends with Violin?" I inquired.

Pim put her phone down and glared at me with her what-the-fuck-are-you-saying face.

"Bestfriends don't give each other cheap gifts." She said as-a-matter-of-factly. "The nerve of that bitch to give me a knockoff bag for my birthday!"

"You're mad at her because you didn't like her gift for your birthday?" I'm shocked.

"Yes! All this flaunting of their riches in IG yet she couldn't at least give a decent gift? What a friend!" Pim ranted, her arms crossed.

"Hey hey chill! I just want to know what this is about." I explained. "I just thought you're bestfriends."

"We're friendship oh-veeer!" Spoken like a true valley girl wanna be. "Just like you and that wench Beam!"

What?

I heard something crack in my heart.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"What? That Violin and I are friendship over?" She replied, annoyed.

"No! After that! What did you say about Beam and me?" I was trying to control myself but that came out as a scowl.

"Oh! I said Beam and you are also friendship over. You mentioned that to me yesterday."

Crack.

There goes another crack.

Tears rolled down unconsciously on my cheeks. Massive pain twisting in my heart.

Did I really lose Beam? My bestfriend?

🎶Sugar on your lips, it's hard to kill
Jagged like a pill, so hard to swallow🎶

"Aww hon! You don't need to be sad..." She walked to me and cupped my face. "And so what if we both lost our bestfriends? We still have each other right?"

"Right?" She asked again.

If Beam is really gone, then Pim is all I have left. That's a pretty hard pill to swallow.

I looked at her and nodded.

"Now wipe your tears. Want to fuck? Let's get your mind off that slut called your ex-bestfriend."

My mind went blank with what she declared.

Bitch.
Wench.
Slut.
Ex-bestfriend.
Beam.

I turned to her. My breathing erratic. I can feel my emotions surge.

"Pim!!!"

"Y-Yes?" startled by my sudden outburst.

"What did Beam exactly did to you and you hate him this much?"

She gave me a blank face and responded, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" I was dumbstruck. "You never fail to form sentences with his name and expletives, and you say he did nothing to offend you?"

I scoffed.

"Yes! I just loathe his very existence! He's always around you! He's so close to you!"

"Naturally! We work in the same company! And he's my fucking bestfriend! Of course he's close to me!"

"What about me Forth?! Where should I be in your life? That slut has taken my rightful place! I'm just kicking him out!"

"What the hell are you talking about Pim?!"

"What? You don't notice how he treats you special among his other friends? How he takes care of your every need even if I'm already beside you? How he looks at you with so much affection?" Rapidfire sentiments by Pim. "I'm just protecting what is mine!"

"Of course I'm special for Beam! We're bestfriends and I can't keep repeating that to you! You're jealous of Beam because he takes care of my needs? Well that's how he is! He takes care of everyone! Not just me, but all of his close friends! You're just misconstruing his kindess to something else out of jealousy!"

"Oh really?" Pim challenged me. "Why don't you ask him about his real feelings for you. That will clear up things!"

My brain stopped.

I looked at her. Contemplating a bit and said,"Maybe I will.", and turned to the door.

"Where are you going, Forth?!"

"To Beam, I will clear up everything!"

"Wait! Wait! Don't go!" She tugged my arms to stop me. "If you really love me, you'll just stay here!"

I froze.

🎶Am I in love with you? Am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?
Trying to find the truth, trying to find the truth
Sometimes the heart is deceiving🎶

I thought for a moment then replied, "You know what Pim... That's a very good question! Am I really in love with you?"

"W-What are you saying F-Forth?"

"I'm thinking maybe I just confused love with the feeling of wanting to show off someone as my beautiful girlfriend while having a satisfying fuck."

Her jaw dropped.

"This is the first time that I saw this petty part of you. Is this the real Pimada?" I questioned her.

No response, just a noticeable shock from her.

"The Pim I know is this lovely girl who tried to win my affection by being sweet, caring, and adventurous. That is not the Pim I'm seeing now."

"Forth, I can explain."

"Now that you think about it. There is one fact about Beam that only I know." I gazed at her intently. "Those who dislike Beam, are also generally disliked by other people."

"That says a lot about you." I quipped.

I sighed. "Playing with emotions can be deceiving."

🎶Can't get out of my head, I need you to save me
If I am delusional then maybe I'm crazy🎶

"Go ahead Pim, I'm giving you the time to explain."

"Forth, I..."

"Explain it to me please. Because I made a delusion of loving a fake version of you. And I'll go crazy if I'll be sorting this out on my own."

She looked down on the floor. Unable to rebutt all my tirades.

"Maybe we need time to think about both our answers to that question. Are we in love with each other? Or do we just give something the other one wants?"

I took my keys in the fishbowl.

"Take care Pim. Think about it."

Then, I left her apartment.

A/N: I think the lyrics are pretty much straight forward. The boy loved a fake version of the girl. So he became confused if he really loves her or not. Is it real love? or is it just the feeling of being "in love".

Seriously, I really didn't expect this from the Biebster.