To my lover, I'd never lie (ozzy osbourne fanfiction)

Dinosaur in the 1980's?

"you really cannot tell my wife about this... shes also my manager ya know, so not only is she taking care of me as a wife, she really tries to keep my image clear. Its like every time i turn around, theres a new made up fucking story about me in the news... All of this devil worshiping rumors are a load of bollocks ya know... I dont do all of that junk."  ozzy said as he looked at me deeply with his red, puffy eyes.

"Ozzy... I know that none of those rumors are true, people are cruel and they pick on the most talented people.... Like you for instance. Your one of the most amazing, talented, most genuine artists that there is. Actually, you are my favorite singer... You have been since i was a kid. Your music has helped me to feel not so alone all the time you know? Anyways.. I know you probably get that alot...."  I replied.

Fuck, hes gonna think im another crazy fan, tone it down. Im letting too much information out, but maybe im just paranoid from this chronic ass weed. I thought to myself.

"See, thats why i do what i do. Thank you...as long as i know that im helping at least one person out there with my music, i know im doing my job you know. Whats your favorite song of mine?"  ozzy asked as he sat down on the concrete stair. I did the same.

"i really am loving no bone movies right now" i said to him in a giggle.

Damn that song is purely about being horny... Now that i think of it, im getting pretty horny. Must be the grass getting to me... Or maybe its because the man ive admired with all of my heart for years is sitting so close to me.
I thought.

Ozzy looked at me and laughed a little bit harder than he probably should have. "that ones fucking great eh? Well anyways... Vivian, was it? Nice to meet you, i should probably go back in there. I'm pretty high." He said as he flicked the roach on the ground and smeared it with the bottom of his boot.

The entire time we were talking, i lost track of how many times we passed the joint back and fourth to each other. I hit it one too many times if you catch my drift. I was so stoned that after he finished his sentence, I completely forgot what he said. He noticed that I didn't reply, I just sat there staring at the ground stoned out of my mind.

"Vivian?... are you high?"  He asked me as he giggled.

"what?"  i asked

" high!" he raised his voice as he continued to laugh at how baked i was.

"hello"  i replied.

Fuck this is so embarassing... I smoke a joint with my favorite person on the planet and im making a fool out of myself. I thought anxiously.

"go home and get yourself some sleep or something darling. Nice to meet you. Be safe... watch out for the dinosaur!" Ozzy said to me as he went back inside the building shutting the door behind him.

If he knows im stoned... Why would he tell me theres a dinosaur?..... Wait.... Is there a fucking dinosaur?!!! I said to myself as i freaked out inside before realizing that he was just trying to creep me out. I drove back to my apartment, ordered some pizza, and watched some videos of black sabbath playing live. I watched as ozzy sang... It gave me the chills. He was so perfect to me. I couldnt help wanting to be all over him even though he is married... And sharon was so nice to me.... I knew that i needed to have her husband.

That night i had a dream about him. Us being outside smoking, just like earlier but in my dream, he kissed me. I woke up the next day happy as ever. I needed that to happen in real life... But how could i see him again? Will i ever be able to talk to ozzy again? 
I spent the next few days day-dreaming about him. And cringing at myself for getting too stoned.
He probably thinks im ridiculous. I thought.

A few days later i got a call...

"Hello, this is sharon osbournes manager again. She would like to speak to you if thats alright."

Oh my god! Sharon wants to speak with me. Maybe i will finally get to see ozzy again!..... Wait.. What if she is about to confront me for stealing the joint and enabling ozzy by giving it to him. Let alone smoking it WITH him.

"Hi darling! Im just calling to say that the work you did on me was fabulous! I would like you to be my exclusive makeup artist from now on, if thats alright?" Sharon said.

PHEW!! I sighed of relief and exitement.

"YES!! I mean i would love that!!"  I said.

"Great! Well, Ozzy and i would like to have you over for dinner this thursday evening to go over our schedules and things. Sound good?" she asked.

"Ofcourse! I will be there!"  i replied.

I spent the next few days in the mall trying to figure out the perfect dress to wear to ozzy and sharons house. I finally picked up a bright red fitted dress to look put together, but also show off my curves. I did my hair sleek and straight and made sure to pair it with some sick ass high heels. I made my way over to their house and was led in by sharon at the gate. I walked in to see a huge steak dinner displayed on their beautiful  dining table. The house had crucifixes and gargoyols everywhere. It was like a glamorous catholic church.

"would you like red or white wine?" Sharon asked me.

"red please, thank you." i replied

I cannot believe im in ozzy's house right now. Where is ozzy? I thought to myself.

"Ozzy! Our guest is here! Its time for dinner for fucks sake ozzy!" sharon shouted across the house. "im sorry darling, he will be out here in a bit" she said.

"oh its fi-" i said before i was interrupted by ozzy walking into the room.

"Sharon, worry about yourself darling im fuckin-" he started to say as our eyes met. "oh... hello makeup woman!" he said to me. Instead of making eye contact with me, he made eye contact with my half exposed tits. He cleared his throat. "i didnt know YOU were the guest"

He's checking me out. This is terrible but i cannot help but love the feeling of ozzy staring at my boobs.