Trust me | shawmila

4

Camilas POV

I remembered waking up that morning feeling awful from the hangover, but also confused as to why I was naked in my bed and covered in love bites. It took me a little while to remember what happened, but it only came in bits and pieces. However, it was more than enough to realize what happened.
At first I was angry with myself for getting that drunk in the first place and allowing my first time to be half forgotten, but my thoughts were quickly broken when I realized Shawn was gone and in his place was a note that simply said: I'm sorry.

Of course at that point my mind was going wild. Did he regret what happened last night? Why didn't he stay like he promised he would? What was he sorry for?
I never did find out what happened because when I went over to his parent's house to talk to him his mother told me that he just loaded up his car and moved to London. Hearing that absolutely crushed me and I just broke down crying right there on her doorstep. It was definitely embarrassing to cry to his mother without being able to tell her why I was so upset. I think she just assumed it was because he left without telling me and she allowed me to stay until I calmed down, but seeing pictures of him all over was too much so I just left.
I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes as I sprawled out on the bench outside of the church, trying to relax in the sun but of course someone had to come over to cast a shadow over me.
"Hey, could you m-" I stopped when I saw who it was and just closed my eyes again. "What do you want, Shawn?"
"I just want to talk, okay? Can I sit with you?" He asked.
I stayed there for a moment then finally gave in and sat up, allowing him to sit on the other side of the bench but I still kept a pretty good distance between us.
"I'm sorry I left. I was going to tell you that I was moving soon but then other things happened and I guess I kind of had to deal with some things." He said. "I know it's no excuse for what I did and I hope that some day you can forgive me for it, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
I kept my gaze on the ground in front of me as he spoke, tensing a little as he spoke of that night which should have been the best of my life but instead ended up being the worst.
"You could have called." I say finally, fighting back the urge to cry. "I've spent the past three and a half years wondering what I did to make you just shut me out like that. You didn't return my calls. You were supposed to be my best friend, Shawn. Yes, it was a drunken mistake which could have been forgotten, but you just disappeared. Jenna and Jason had each other, but I had no one." My voice broke slightly but I forced it back and quickly wiped my eyes. "A simple "I'm sorry" isn't going to fix that."
"I know it's not, and believe me I'm going to be making it up to you for a long time, just please don't cry." He reached up to wipe a tear from my cheek but I grabbed his hand and pushed it away.
"Let's just get these next few days over with for Jenna and Jason. Then you can just go back to your new life." I said coldly as I stood up and went back inside to do the rehearsals.
I touched up my makeup then took a deep breath, forcing a smile onto my face as I found my way back to the others. Jenna and Jason knew something was up but they chose not to say anything and instead just got to work with the rehearsals. I did as I was asked like a good friend and walked with Shawn as we practiced where we should go and the order in which we were to walk down the aisle. We finally finish after an hour or so and while everyone else was getting ready to go have drinks together I just decided to go home to my apartment, not feeling like being around Shawn any longer than I needed to.
The moment I got home I changed into Shawn's sweater that I had stolen from him a long time ago and curled up in my bed until I fell asleep.