Lay Me Down (A Jongkey Christmassy Short Story) 《COMPLETED》

I'll Take Care of You

Jonghyun's POV

The next day felt colder than the previous. The tears stained my eyes in a red puffy look. The sniffles hitting my nose, with a sickness peaking in from the corner. Getting dressed in extra warm clothes knowing that I won't have Kibum here to cuddle close to me.

"Hi mom," mom walks into my room.

"Hey Jonghee, I believe in you sweetie. And don't be too quick to judge him," she runs her hands through my hair.

"Ok mama," I send her a fake smile.

Leaving the house, the air never felt more cold. The wind never felt more windy. In this moment I never felt more sad and alone. It's like in a way, I have learned how to have him in my life, I don't think I can learn to live without him. His name constantly a thought in my mind. His touches programmed into my mind. His smiles in my thoughts, his adorable crinkle of his eyes when he smiles his adorable smile.

Getting to the bus stop never felt more cold and alone today. Being used to having Kibum always right next to me surely has gotten my mind focused only on him. One thing was sure from the beginning with Kibum, he wasn't going anywhere. Because he had me and I had him. I use to always look forward to riding the bus because I knew I would always see Kibum on the bus waiting for me. It helped make me feel better through out the days and the weeks.

But knowing now, I have to learn to live without depending on him. The little things I looked forward in the day because of him don't feel so meaningful anymore. The once happy feeling in my chest, now being placed with a sad almost empty hole where he mentally should be.

The threats of wanting to scream and yell and cry out of my pain until I can't feel it any longer. Even taking the tinest steps to the bus stop never seemed to long and daunting. Knowing I will have to see his beautiful brown eyes focused on Yeri and only Yeri. Knowing I could be sitting right next to him, but yet I won't matter. Because that is just how it was suppose to end up like. The universe is telling me I have had him for enough time, it's time to give him to someone else.

The small spin enters my head as the lack of sleep really starts to dawn on me. The movements I'm making there, but not even registering themselves into my brain. But yet I don't stop up to the way of the bus. I keep pushing more and more forward until I hit where the other kids are at waiting for the bus as well. The loud students that once I blocked out with the thought of Kibum ringing through my ears.

The warm thoughts of cuddling closely to Kibum on the bus staying warm. Now only feeling cold and almost right past me. The dryness of my lips at not only the thoughts but the thoughts dantering their way in my mind threatening to find their own way free. But yet somehow, I can still keep them down and not think on them too much. The sleep threatening to catch up to my eyes as the lack of sleep taunts my mind telling me it's time to sleep. I know better and I dare to threaten my mind to keep itself awake.

And like any other morning, the bus making it's way from down a street to my stop. The once excitement I felt of seeing the big yellow contraption, now almost breaking my heart into a few more pieces today. It feels more brital today than what I wished it could be like. But I still force myself to stand in the line to get on, once feeling too long to be standing in almost feeling too short in this very moment. It's kind of funny how one little thing can change how we use to think about everything. Like the small little details that no one ever thought mattered, you only notice their importance in the moment of when you are sad and don't want to. Because the only person that can make you happy is the same person that breaks you down. And people say irony doesn't exist.