The Epilogue : Part I - The Shadow Army

CHAPTER FIVETEEN

The Two Friends

    Harry spent the rest of his day overthinking. All things considered, he felt like he lost his job, Hermione, his friendship with Ron, his wife and his family in one day. Stuck in his bed, Harry had time to think about everything he did, and about what he could be saying to the press, to Ginny or to Ron. He then lowered his head and started to cry.

    He cried uncontrollably for hours about the life that he just lost. The life that wouldn't worth living anymore. Harry recalled what his son told him for thousands of times. As he was absently staring at the beautiful painting in front of him, Harry understood they were right, they were all right. For everyone around him, he left like a social cancer, a toxic disease and a dangerous beast.

    "They'd be better off without you", Harry began to think, plainly hopeless. "You ruined their lives, and get things worse at every breath you take."

    These words slowly replaced his son's words roaming through his troubled mind until it became obvious: "They'd be better... off without you."

    His breath went slower. He was almost calm now, relieved almost as his shivering hand reached out to seize few pieces of parchment, along with his white peacock quill on the bedside table.

    "They'd be better off without you."

    He first wrote a resigning letter so clumsy and unformal, he even wondered if it would be of any use. It then took him several minutes to figure out what to write to the others. He wished to tell his wife and family how sorry he was for having been such a burden for years, he also wished to tell the truth to Ron and Ginny about the nature of his relationship with Hermione. But who would listen to him now?

    "They'd be better off without you."

Even Lily had turned her back on him, he was alone now. He'd lost everything and everyone, and it was his entire fault. Hermione was probably dead by now. His children's respect for him was more likely dead as well. His wife's love toward him was must be dead too. His career was also dead, as nobody would let him be even an Auror after this scandal. Finally, his friendship with Ron was dead. Harry was sure he was dead to him at this point. When he thought about it, he also was dead for himself. But not yet, not quite.

    "They'd be better off without you."

    So he simply wrote "goodbye" down on a piece of parchment, softly putted it back on the bedside table and, his hand still shivering, he slowly looked for his magic wand with his fingers.

    "They'd be better off without you."

    Finally, his fingers close on the familiar piece of wood. Strangely enough, the perspective of dying wasn't scaring him.

    "They'd be better off without you."

    He seized his wand, and pointed on his neck, sinking it into his throat so deeply he feel his heart beating.

    "They... would be... better off... without you. Do it now... you know the spell..."

    Harry focused on the spell he never said at loud, and closed his eyes.

    "Harry? What are you doing?"

    In the frame of the door, Douglas Atkins was standing, staring at him.

    "...I just can't anymore."

    "What... What are you thinking! You think that everything would instantly be magically solved as soon as you're gone?"

    "I make everything worse, Atkins..."

    "I have several pieces of information that you should be aware of."