Verified (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 14 - But I love Ed

Louis P.O.V.

And here we are. Me and Ed. At my flat. Carrying a BUNCH of his boxes. If you still haven’t figured it out, he is moving in with me. And if you still haven’t figured it out too, I am NOT so happy about it. I love Ed, I do, really. But I love my privacy too.

I have been living on my own for two years and honestly, they have been the happiest two years of my life with no one judging me in my own house or telling me not to do this and that. I eat what I want, what I like, how I like it and whenever I want. I clean when I feel like it because no one is gonna care. I showered when I want and if I want to. I leave dirty clothes lying around all day and I only pick them up when I want to. I wear the same boxers cause no one is gonna ask why. I drink from the same cup all the time. I do what I want in my free time cause I know no one is gonna stop me. But now, I feel like that is gonna change.

So you might be wondering why Ed is moving in. I thought you would have guessed it by now but I will tell you anyway. As you know, I offered to help Ed come out to his mother a few days ago. BIG MISTAKE. I wanted him to be happy and comfortable around his mum but I shouldn’t have offered. I’m so stupid. Why would I offer someone that kind of help when I know the possibilities of the reactions? I mean come on Louis, haven’t you learnt well enough from your own mother? Well, Ed’s didn’t take it so well either.

*flashback*

We left the flat a few minutes after I offered him help. I showered and got ready. It took me a few extra minutes than usual cause I got carried away in my thoughts of how this is going to go.

Had I done the right thing by telling him to come out to his mum? Did I pressure him in telling her? Did I force the idea on him? Was he even thinking about telling her soon? But she’s his mother, she should know about this. Maybe he wasn’t ready to tell her yet? Was he? Is this all my fault? But nothing bad happened yet Louis. But if something goes wrong, it will totally be your fault? Oh my god I am such a bad person for making him do this. But he didn’t reject the idea. Am I a bad person? I definitely am.

As I got out of the shower I dressed quickly when I realized how long I have been in there. I put on black jeans a red and blue striped t-shirt and my usual worn out black vans. Man, I really need some new shoes. I rushed downstairs and I saw Ed waiting for me near the door with his hands in his pocket. He almost had a smile on his face considering he had just got beaten up a couple of hours ago. I slowed down my pace as I grabbed my wallet, phone and keys. NEVER leave the house without them.

“Ed…you okay buddy?” I asked while looking weirdly at him.

“Yeah why?”

He was oblivious so I didn’t say anything about it.

“You ready to do this?” I said comfortingly as I rubbed his back.

“Yes actually. I totally am” and then he smile crossed his face from left to right.

I smiled too and his sudden boost of confidence in this situation because that is exactly what he needed right now. He needs to have a lot of courage to say it and he needs to be prepared for all the possibly outcomes that his mother has to say about this. Hopefully it will all be good but nonetheless, I will be there for him as I promised and I will not let him break down again. What’s the worst that could happen anyway?

Ed doesn’t live too far from me so we decided to walk to his house instead of driving there so that we will be able to have more time to talk and calm down our nerves. By now I was nervous too, I think even more than he was. I kept remembering the time when I told my mum that I was gay and how much things have changed since then – to the better. The only thing I miss from back home was my sisters. We used to have the best time together and I miss them so much.