The Diary Of Jane

Chapter 8

"The journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take."

On Tuesday, May 14th, the day where and when my parents will be buried. The shock of their death was like a punch to the stomach. It was the first bereavement I'd experienced up close. For days, a cloak of confusion, rage, and disbelief descended. Though I know, cemeteries are supposed to be depressing and solemn places, this is out of the ordinary. While burying my parents it is sad to think that it is really difficult to lose a parent or a loved one in life especially to your parents. 

A few of my friends and Benjamin's bandmates go to the funeral. I cried and continued to mourn their loss. I keep fighting but I can't do that because it's too brief and frustrates. The sadness corrupts my inner soul and my heart bleeds a river inside. Nothing could change the wretchedness I feel. Still shedding tears I climb into the hearse, my eyes fixed upon the nobleman in the back, in the vain hope that there would be life in him once again. It is useless. After they were buried, I immediately go home to be alone. When Benjamin brought me home, I said goodbye to him and then I go inside my house. He immediately drives and goes to his home and he tries to force me to speak but I was speechless and I was not in the mood at that time.

As soon as I entered my house, I immediately went up and ran to my room alone and wept all night. Because things are so sad and happened to them. I still wonder why they have ever had such scars, so much remorse and suffering now. I never stop crying until I feel like I should never be discouraged because I know we will all be lost in this world and die.

 As I was turning around, my phone suddenly rang and Benjamin called me. I answered it right away. He asks me if I'm okay. He kept trying to comfort and motivating me so that I would never feel sad and discouraged because it was a trial for all of us. It may hurt to think and accept but I have to accept it and not give up. I also had to get up and think that my parents would guide me all the time and every time I went anywhere, he would also tell me to burst into tears and stop crying. I spoke and smiled a little for what he told me to ease my heart and rise to this challenge and move on to their death and loss.

After we talk, I stopped crying and thought about everything when I couldn't stop crying and it would happen to me. Then after I overthink about to me, I go to the sink to wash my face and suddenly I look in the mirror and realize how sad my eyes are. After I washed my face in the sink, I went to my bed and continued to rest and sleep for tomorrow and I hope my mood and condition get well.