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Chapter 5: Just a Crush

Stars. Clouds of dust coming together to form those beautiful things in the night sky that we like to call stars. These balls of dust became one of my many obsessions when I was younger. It was after I found my dad and Kathy curled around one another that the obsession surfaced. I found myself staying outside as late as I could just to gaze up at the stars. Millions scattered across the sky, the view mesmerized my tiny mind.

"Skylar! For the last time, come inside. It's freezing, you're going to get sick," My pre-alcoholic mother came bundled up in her sweater, her hands frantically rubbing heat into her body.

I can still feel the wet, cold grass under my hands. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was one of the feel good memories I had of my mother.

The back of my shirt clung to my shivering body as I kept my eyes glued to the stars above me. My hands are as cold as ice, but I don't move from my spot. If I move, I'll ruin it.

My mother's presence moves closer and her warmth radiates towards me as she kneels down to where I lay. Her hand gently brushes away the hair that had found its way to my face.

"What's wrong honey?" She gently asks.

The scene of Eric and Kathy runs through my mind. The image of them hasn't left me since Dad made me promise not to tell Mom. Finally pulling my eyes away from the beauty of the sky, I look over at the woman next to me. Her dark hair is pulled  up into a tight bun. Her cheeks and nose are red from the cold, but it's the worry in her eyes that makes me come to.

"I don't wanna go inside," My voice comes out small and hoarse as I look back up to the sky.

"Why not?"

"The stars are so beautiful," I point up to the millions of lights in the sky. "Look at them. They light up the whole sky so that people don't have to be afraid anymore."

I can feel my mother sprawling out beside me, probably becoming soaked from the wet grass. "You're right. They are amazing." I hear her body move as she turns her head to face me. "Are you afraid, Skylar?"

Kathy's face pops into my head and my voice barely registers as I speak, "Sometimes."

Without a word, Mom jumps up from her place and runs into the house. My stubbornness keeps me where I'm at, but after a couple of minutes my curiosity gets the best of me. Pulling myself up, my wet clothes feel heavy on my body. The heat coming from the house was too enticing as the cold seeped into my bones.

"Mom?" I yell throughout the house. I didn't have to worry about upsetting Dad at my yelling because he was out driving Kathy home from babysitting.

"I'm in your room," Mom's voice yells back.

Slowly, I trudged down the hallway. The door to my bedroom sits cracked open, light shining through. Pushing the door open, I find my mother standing on a chair as she places something on the ceiling. She smiles down at me when I enter but goes back to whatever she was doing.

"What are you doing?" I scan the ceiling, trying to figure out what she was doing but I don't see anything.

She climbs down and flashes me a huge grin as she pulls me into her arms. Lying on the bed, she walks over to the light switch. "You're going to love this."

Before I have time to question her, she flicks the lights off. Expecting to my engulfed in darkness, I'm surprised when I find my room fairly aglow from the mysterious objects on my ceiling.

The bed dips as Mom takes a seat next to me. We both stare up at the ceiling. "See," She points to the ceiling. "Stars. Not as beautiful as the real thing, but definitely the same effect."