indistinct

silence

"Talking 'bout you'll make it my way
Made it my-, made it my way"

Poonu 👾

"move skoob" I mumbled while slightly pushing his chest. "when we gone talk" he said as he removed his hands from my waist and titled his head a bit.

"ion know but I needa find my bruda... wea his ugly ass at" I said scrunching my eyebrows together. "Fuck it I'll find him" I said quickly after brushing my shoulders against his

after a while of looking I found him in the kitchen sitting on the counter watchin fully nude bitches pack some powder "pooooootERRRR" I said and smiled while walking to him "pooooooNUUUU" he said returning the gesture.

He got up and I embraced him in a big tight hug while he put in the same effort. I gave him his food and he frowned "fucks up" I asked

"so jus fuck da drink huh"

"bye" I said mugged ,walking off

"youon want yo gift" He said holding his food in one hand and digging in his pocket handing me a slip of white paper "fuck is dis" I said reading it seeing it was a one was first class ticked to Baton Rouge

"We finna try dat bit out " he said simply and I looked at him in shock "why"
"Atlanta geting too hot and I got to many murders..." 
I didn't even wanna argue "when we leaveing" I asked a lil sad "read the damn ticked" he said an walked off

"Oh an dat ain't yo real gift come on"

I sighed and followed him up stairs to him lil work area or whatever you wanna call it
"AWWWWWWWWW HIM SO TUTE" I screamed excitedly seeing an all black and white pit

I picked him up and rubbed his stomach smiling hard as a bitch till I seen his collar
"Umm who dog is dis" I said tryin to read his collar but it was all scratched up
"Seee ...wellll....we was doin a lil robbin and killin you know the usual and was finna head out but we heard his collar..long story short we was finna kill him but I thought bout u" he said smiling at the end

"You got issues" I said shaking my head takin the dog collar off throwin it at his head

"Damn this da thanks I get..GET OUT..that shit hurt"

" wat ehva ,love u,be safe"

"always an foreva"

I got up and went downstairs rubbing the dog behind his ears and went to look fo skoob and I quickly found him talking to some girl.

hoe ass nigga

I made my way over there and interrupted " skoob can you take me home"

" yea let's move" and we made our to his car

the car ride was quiet but comfortable...see me and skoob use to date when I was sixteen and he was nineteen. not gone lie we was really close and it was one of the happiest moments of my life but he cheated on me, lied to my face and made me look so dumb , something he promised to never do so we broke up and it haven't been the same since

He constantly apologize and wanted to get back together or at least go bak to the way things were but I wasn't with it after u disrespect me I'll no longer look at you the same

Yea we still sleep together here and there but now that he has clout he's barely around always on tour and being a hoe and I was slowly loosing my best friend...and I hated it ..now I'm just confused on what to do but I'll always b here for him and have love for him

" what you thinking about" he took a glimpse at me then back at the road " us" I responded quickly rubbing the dog head,I gotta name this kid,

"when we gone talk about us ..and where we stand" he said while pulling into my house " I don't knowwwww" I stretched..honestly I was scared of the truth this nigga is famous and can have any girl he wants what if I'm not that and he just want to dismiss me altogether

could I handle that truth?

I shook my head getting out that car and he got out too. I went over to him and gave him a side hug with my free arm and a quick peck on the lips

"you gone come in" I asked  looking up at him. He shook his head " can't gotta go to the stu and I gotta meet and greet but I'll be back tonight" I rolled my eyes, that's code for,imma finna go be with some groupies and fuck sum

I unwrapped my arm from him and was bout to walk off but he grabbed my waist and pulled me back to him pulling me close

"Don't b mad Ight imma make it up to u okay" I nodded at him and he kissed my lips then my for head"now gone in da house so I can go" he tapped my butt and got in the car.

I smiled a little and went in the house setting the dog down making sure everything was locked up and all my curtains were closed so no sun could get in

I lit a candle and turned on the shower keeping the lights off I slowly stripped out my clothes getting in the shower washing for a bit then sitting down letting the water hit my head

a took a breath in to clear my thoughts and a breath out to let them go hearing nothing but complete silence and not moving just breathing and taking cautious breaths

and just as quick as it came it left ...the silence
all of my thoughts came back crashing in

really thought he loved you ha!
your a burden to everyone who knows you
they show fake love
you'll cause trouble to anyone who walks ur path
no ones really here fo u like they say they are
you make everyone crazy
Just kill yourself

rubbing my face a couple times I got out the tub and wrapped myself in my towel and quickly took my meds sliding down on the wall clutching my towel tacking deep breaths not wanting to cry

Trying not to feel like the pain in my heart..like I'm not even worthy of living...like I'm better off dead....

•••••••••••••••••••••
Ight cause I have this is my first damn book an ion know what I'm doing wid it lemme know what y'all think tho