It's Nothing

Chapter 4

I feel pain sometimes and I did one ungrateful thing that lead to more. I cut myself, and the pain went away. I felt like nothing but it went away when I cut myself. I told her because we tell each other everything. She says " You are not worthless you are my everything and without you I'm nothing" but I reality with out her I'm nothing... I go the rest of the day thinking why can't I just end it , but I think if I do I will put her in a her own little hell and she will slowly slip away. Losing herself at every moment that I killed myself. She would blame herself everyday and go through the exact pain I did and then maybe she might do what I did. I think there has to be another option but there isn't.

The next day at school I have a fake smile in my face. Everyone thinks I'm okay but in reality I'm dying inside. I look at my heart and think the whole day but all I think of is how my heart is an empty whole that every time you try to escape you sink and there's only one way out. I think and think but it's all I think about. She texts me
*hi*
*hi beautiful*
*wyd^_^*
*just thinkin you?*
*listening to music*
*oh cool*
*ya and guess what?*
*what?*
*I love you*
*I love you too*
*well I gtg just wanted you to know before I went to bed*
*ok, good night*
Ugh I can't take she is to good for me. Why could she have fallen in love with someone else. I say it but I don't mean, I love her with all my heart, I just see how she can be so nice and sweet while I just hurt people, including myself.