Change is the only constant thing in world. some changes are good and some are turn to be a lesson. But what about those changes which brings your life to halt? I have never realized one single change can have such great impact in My life.
Happy Anniversary
From,
Mr. Ram Kapoor
"how romantic and lovely Mr. husband " I open the last drawer of my table and tossed the note inside where there were other similar notes.
I ask my colleague to take the flowers outside my office as I am allergic to orchids. I remember once my mother said she does not like eating lunch alone so my father from that day make some excuse to be with her at lunch time though he never accepted it. And here my husband does not even know that his wife is allergic to orchids.
But what can I say to our relationship is not like other husband and wife. I am married for 3 years and still living separately.
I feel like crying.. screaming... shouting to let out all my feelings, but I know it will not make any difference. My life is messed up, I know my husband does not love me,We hardly talk, we go on ten minutes dinner as apparently he has some very important work and had to leave the dinner.
" Priya!"
" Yes, shruti."
"You have a date with your husband, Mrs. Sharma asked me to inform you and she also asked you to come home in half an hour," shruti says while entering my office.
"Thanks for reminding... I am just about to leave. Can you please go through these files again and check if I missed any important point I have to prepare for the meeting."
" Do not worry priya, I'll check these files you just focus on your date," she winks at me.
"Mom I am home!!!
My mom comes downstairs, with a warm motherly smile which is enough to de-stress me. But today nothing can help me to calm down.
"Look at you my girl has been married to three years... happy anniversary my sweetie." Mom hugs me tightly. Tears filled my eyes, threatening to release, my marriage was anything but happy.
"Mom..."
I sigh, trying to contain myself. But my mom can see through me easily. She gives me a sad smile " Everything will be fine bachhe, just give some time."
"Some time mom! three years...three years... I have given three years of my life. I am married to a person who does not even care about me. He hates me, mom..." I hastily wipe my tears which escaped from my eyes.
I can see tears in my mom's eyes too, she takes a deep breath " Beta.. I know how much it is difficult for you... but believe me, Ram not hate you nobody can hate you..never ever think like this."
"He cannot even sit with me for more than 10 minutes... Aap ko to sab pata he, how come you still believe this marriage will work."
While taking a deep breath trying to compose myself as I say " I have tried to drag this so-called marriage for three years. But I don't think I can do this anymore. Tonight I will clearly ask him what does he wants because now it is enough."
"I already knew how this whole situation is affecting you and informed your dad too. Whatever you decide we are with you... Nobody is going to pressurize you, but before reaching any decision please think clearly" my mom says taking my hand in her hand giving it a little squeeze.
"Yeah, Mom I will not make any decision hastily... Ok, now I have to get ready for my 10 minutes dinner." I joke to lighten the mood a little.
Mom kisses my forehead and I went to my room.
Thankfully,
my Mom already placed my sari and accessories on my bed. I just have to take shower and get ready which will just take around 15 minutes as I am not a fan of much make up, neither I dress to impress... After the shower, I quickly wore my sari and applied a little bit of lip gloss and mascara. I tied my hair in a messy bun. Today I decided not to drive myself to the hotel, so asked my mum's driver to take me to the hotel, where my loving husband would not be waiting for me.
Sometimes, I think how different my life would have been if I was married to someone who loved me... accepted me. I never ever wanted a prince charming, but a true love and here I am married to a prince charming but he is not mine. How can I tell my parents that their son-in-law is far from perfect, he is a player. He is always in the news whether it is about his success or his affairs. How do I feel when I see some other girl hanging in his arms? Is it wrong to feel hurt? Is it wrong to feel betrayed? I never forced him to marry me. The situation was same for both of us, but why am I the only one who is suffering...maybe he is suffering too but why I can't see it, because he is living his life the way he wanted...
" Ma'am we have arrived" Suddenly I am jolted from my thoughts as driver announce our arrival.
" Thank you, you can go back I'll come by myself."
As I reach the reception and ask the manager " Good evening, I have a reservation in the name of Mr.Kapoor."
"Oh.. Miss sharma, come I'll escort you to your table."
" Yeah... Miss sharma that is me" ram does not even acknowledge me as his wife even on our anniversary.
Manager escorts me to our table, in a private area, which is not even surprising for me. As he never wanted people to know he is married.
After around one hour and five glass of water, Ram comes. And as always he is looking so good, I notice how girls and women started throwing flirtatious glances in his direction and he respond to all of them with a smile...a killer smile. He never smiled at me. While taking a seat he just nodded in my direction.
"Hello
Mr.kapoor" He looks a bit surprised as I always address him by his first name. But quickly hides his surprise by replacing it with a neutral face.
" Hello, Priya" he simply replies.
" It is Miss. sharma to you." I say with a sweet smile as he raises an eyebrow at me
A waiter arrives and asks for our order. After jotting down Ram's order he turns his attention to me." What would the pretty lady like to have?" He says with a flirtatious wink.
"Pretty Lady would like you to just leave" as I glare. He quickly leaves with an embarrassed face. From the corner of my eye, I can see Ram is trying to fight his smile.
" Why haven't you ordered something?"
"Because I am not here to eat, I think we should talk as after ten minutes before you will get some call and would have to leave me to attend your important work" I put emphasis on the word important.
He opens his mouth to speak, but I quickly cut him off by continuing.
"Our ten minutes date has started, so I'll just come to the main point before this ten minutes are over."
He nods his head as ask me to continue.
"We both know the reality of this marriage. This is an arranged marriage and you have clearly shown how much you hate this relationship by walking away just after the marriage. I agree I was not also thrilled with this marriage. But your actions were not justified."
He looks bit angry. In the meantime, the waiter arrives with his order. After he leaves I continue.
"I do not think I deserve all this" while motioning between two of us with a hand I say " These three years I tried to understand the reason behind your attitude towards our marriage..towards me. but now it is...just... I can't seem to understand." while looking at my hands in my lap, as I try to control myself.
I close my eyes, taking a deep shaky breath I ask him " What do you want me to do? maybe earlier I would have asked what is my fault... Why are you treating me like this... but now I know my only fault is getting married to you and I think for this fault three years of suffering is enough for me. So, I want to ask what do you have in your mind? because I think we should just finish whatever it is and separate our ways."
After a pause, I continue " If you are worried about money or business partnership between our families. I assure you nothing will change.. whatever happens between us this will not have any effect on it."
My eyes are filled with tears, I did not dare to look in his direction as I know if I will I can not hold these tears anymore. All this time he never speaks a word. I swallow a lump and see him while raising my head, as tears are threatening to spill. He is just looking at me with an expressionless face. I wait for him to say something for ten minutes but he never speaks, there is just this unbearable silence between us. I did not want to break down in front of him, so I grab my purse and mobile. And make my way to leave the restaurant.
As soon as leave the restaurant I start walking in a vague direction as I want to get away from him..away from this pain. I wrap my arms around myself to sooth this pain, a small sob escape from my mouth and I let the tears flow... I have this pain in my chest, I feel like somebody is stabbing something in my chest and with every step, it is increasing. He never loved me I knew this marriage does not have any future, but saying it out loud crushed even the slightest hope which I had. And it hurts really hurts.
Regards,
A Fan.
