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Everything seems like a fairy tale when you are in love with the right person. However, if you love the wrong person then your whole life will turn into a nightmare...
That pretty much sums up my love life. But I have no one to blame, it is my fault that I fell in love with a wrong person and now I don't know how to stop loving him. When I agreed to live with him, somewhere I was trying to find a reason that will make me stop loving him. But I guess I failed really badly because even after everything I still love him to the point that it hurts.
However, I have been always taught to value myself. If you want others to respect you, then you have to learn to respect yourself first. Even if I love him, but my self-respect is really important to me and I can never compromise on that.
Last night, I realized that there is nothing in this relationship for me. And I have finally reached the decision, which was inevitable, yet it was the decision that I dreaded the most. The whole night I let myself cry because that is what normal people do when they go from heartbreak. This is not the first time I experienced this, my first heartbreak was on my wedding day, but trust me this time the pain was so unbearable that I believe it is a miracle that my heart is still beating. The first time I had hope, that one day everything will be fine, but now I know nothing is going to be fine ever.
I unplug my curling iron, as I finish curling last lock of my hair. I check my makeup in the mirror and admire how makeup can hide everything except it can't hide the sadness in your eyes. Raking my fingers through my hair to loosen up my curls, I wear my brightest smile trying to look happy, as tonight I am going to my mom's fashion show. And it is like our family thing whenever her fashion show is in the same city as we are, we make sure to attend it. Even if it hurts to plaster a fake smile on my face, still I will keep on the pretense of being happy, as I don't want to ruin my mom's day.5
"Are you alright?You haven't come out of your room the whole day, even you didn't come for food?" sangeeta asks as I come outside my room.
"Yeah, I am fine...I just slept the whole time," I lie.
"You look beautiful," she gushes.
"That proves I am great at doing makeup," I lightly laugh. As right now I am a total mess from inside, at least my makeup skills are helping me to look good from outside.1
"Ok, I will leave now, as I am getting late," I check the time on my phone.
"Wait, are you not going with Ram? He just came back home. I think he is getting ready," she asks while looking towards the direction where his room is.
"No, I have to reach early and if he wants to come he can come by himself," I reply her, without turning back as I open the front door and step outside.
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"Mom!" I call, as I see her checking the final preparations.
"Hey! I was just about to call you," she comes to me, looking as beautiful as ever in her purple sari.
"You look beautiful, sweetie," she lovingly smiles at me, then turns to Dad who is just a few steps behind her," isn't she, sudhir?"
"We have created her, of course, she is beautiful," Dad says matter of factly, making Mom blush," but don't you think her dress should be a little longer?" he raises his eyebrow at mom.
"It is perfectly fine," Mom waves her hand dismissively at him.
"I am not saying it is not fine, I am just saying that it should be a bit longer," he replies.
"Um... Dad, nani gifted me this dress," I hold my smile as I inform him, smoothing my knee length dress with my hands.
My Mom started laughing at my Dad's crossed expression while he grumbles about having a word with his mother in law about what kind of dresses she should gift his daughters.7
"Come here," Mom shakes her head at Dad and then open her arms for me.
I walk into her arms when she wraps her arms around me, I feel my fake pretense coming down. I hug her back and clench my eyes tightly as tears are threatening to spill. She pats my back, while lightly places a kiss on the side of my head. It is amazing how a mother knows what her child needs, as I needed this hug more than anything right now. 7
"What happened?" she whispers as she pulls back and holds my face in her hands.
"Nothing Mom, just missed you and your hugs," I smile genuinely.
"Where is Ram? I thought he will come with you," she asks. I notice Dad's expression turns into a sour one when hears his name.
"Sorry, I am late," Ram comes.
"I wish you all the best for your show, I am sure it will be a success," he says and stands beside me.
"Thank you, you guys enjoy some refreshments till the show starts and I will meet you afterward," she smiles and leaves along with Dad.
Ram places his hand on my waist but removes quickly when I flinch. He gazes down at me, his face not giving anything but his eyes hold a pained expression.
"I want to talk to you, please hear me once," he says in a quiet voice so that only I can hear.
"It is a really important day for my mom, so, please do not create a scene here, "I give him a stern look," and there is nothing I want to talk about."
"Just listen what I have to say, I know after hearing me you will realize the truth," he says in a pleading tone.
"Ok," I nod.
"Really? " he smiles, " I know you will forgive me after hearing me," his smile drops when I pull back my hand when he tries to reach for it.
"After the show, meet me outside," he says with a small smile.
"Ram, what a surprise to see you here?" a voice catches our attention and soon a woman comes and hugs him.
"Hi, I am Molly and finally I got the chance to meet you," she smiles and holds her hand to me.
"Hey," I give her a polite smile as I shake her hand.
I wanted to say to her if she was not busy making out with Ram in the elevator when I started working with him, then maybe she could have gotten this chance earlier.
"What are you doing here?" Ram asks her.
"I came here with my friend, he is a photographer and he is covering this event," she replies with a sweet smile.
"Ok, well I think we should take our seats as the show is about to start," he says finishing the conversation and motions me with his hand towards the seats. I give her a smile, then walks with him.
Music starts, as we take our seats and following the music models start to walk on the ramp. I can feel Ram eyes on me the whole time, but I keep my focus on the show. I may have agreed to hear him, but this doesn't mean I have forgiven him. Finally, the show comes to an end when the showstopper appears on the ramp, with my Mom. Mom gives her speech, thanking everyone for making this event a success, concluding the show.
"Meet me outside as soon as you can,"Ram says in my ear and makes his way to the exit, as some people stop to meet me after the show.
It takes me around 15 minutes to reach outside, I look around to see Ram but I don't find him anywhere. I thought to call him, but I remember I forgot my phone in the car. I walk a bit further in a hope to find him when I hear him talking to someone. Slowly my steps come to halt around the corner when I hear another voice.
"I see things are going good between you too," A voice, I recognize as molly's, says.
"Yeah, they are," Ram answers.
"She trusts you, now you can easily get what you want," she says, making me suspicious.
"molly, I don't want to talk about it," ram says sounding a bit agitated.
"What are you waiting for?" she questions him and when he doesn't respond she continues," everything is going as per plan. You have won her trust, now you can easily take her signature and transfer all her shares to your name and become the sole owner of your company. Then you can get rid of her like you always wanted to, without worrying about anything," she laughs.
I can't believe what I am hearing, as never in my worst nightmare I have thought that Ram is going to betray me like this. But the next words which I hear completely knocks the breath out of my lungs.
"You even know her secret, if she doesn't agree to sign on the papers then you can use that to your advantage too," she says smugly.
Numbness washes over me, as I drag my feet away from them not able to hear any further. Ram was right, after hearing him I will realize the truth. Truth is everything was a lie, every moment we shared was a lie... all was just an act. I confided him my biggest secret and he so easily shared with someone else.
How can I be so naive to trust him? I should have never trusted him.
Lost in my thoughts I walk to the car.
"Take me to Ram's house," I say impassively when he starts the car.
When the car stops I step outside the car and turn to my driver and inform him," I will need your help to carry my stuff." he looks at me and just nods.
Going straight to the cupboard I open the safe where I keep important papers, as soon as I enter the room. I take out the papers which I need, putting the rest into my bag.
Without wasting any moment further I sign the papers. I always assumed that when I would sign these papers, I would feel devasted. But now I really do not feel anything... there is simple silence inside me. Like something died inside me... and I know that something is me. At one point I even keep my hand over the place where my heart is supposed to be, to see whether it is still there. Surely, something is beating there but it's not heart, as heart carries emotions which are missing in me.
I glance at the papers, especially at my signature as this is the last time I have signed this name, Priya Kapoor. From this moment, I am no longer , Priya Kapoor... as today was the final nail in the coffin of my dead relationship.
After packing my entire stuff, which I brought here with me three months back, I call driver to carry them to the car. Checking everything again, to make sure I don't leave anything behind me, I walk to the desk which is placed in the corner of the room.
Keeping the papers on the desk, I take out my wedding ring and place it on the divorce papers. Next thing which I put on the side are the keys of this house, as I no longer need them. Shutting the lights I close the door behind me as I walk outside the house for the last time.
When I came here I was , Priya Kapoor, when I am leaving I am , Priya sharma. Somewhere between the journey of , Priya Kapoor to Priya Sharma, a girl name Priya died.
