Patricia's POV (James McVey and Calum Hood; see media section photo)
Before Calum left me, he gave me a kiss in the cheek. Well, that's okay. We're just friends, or I don't know. I don't what's our status. It's complicated. Why do I have to be so rude to him? Why? I was even the one who started those promises that we did. I hope he didn't forget. And, why did I cried because of him? Did I missed him? Or, maybe I just cried because of our memories? I didn't ask him anything. He had girlfriends when I was gone. Boys were really fast at moving-on unlike girls. They can't move-on even the break-up is already 1 year. I'd say those people were lovelorn. I'm pitied of them. Lovelorn people can't pity me. I'm single, maybe. But I'm worried that he might be taken again by someone, now, I'm in the trouble of decision making again. I'm afraid how will I tell that I still love him? I did already say to him I love you but, why!?
I can't be with him. I can't stay with him. We shouldn't be friends again. It makes me irritated and it makes me cry again, I want to stop it. He just left me crying at the airport before going to London. He left me in despair, crucial and betrayal love. His love is conditional. Mine is unconditionally. I'm not yet ready, he does show his affections for me a little but I wouldn't care about it. He broke me. He left me. He left me nothing. He went here for nothing. Why didn't I even hesitated his stolen kiss from my cheek? I shouldn't accept that! But, I was too late. I made a sinful thing. I let him kiss me even just a skin. I should've never let him.
He went here to London for somewhat collaboration with me. I'm hurt that he came back again, I wish he didn't came back to me ever again. I wish he's blasted it all gone. He played me, he played me with his foolish games. He controls me under his spell before, but now, he could never control me even I'm going there and seeing him. I shouldn't talk and looked at him or even glance. I might be on his lovely dark evil spell again. He'll play me as a slut girl of his dreams. I won't ever let it be back again. I don't want to make the memories revive again. I want it to be dead forever. We can't be together. I hate him. I feel he appears to me as an obnoxious person. He's not rude, but I did treated him rudely. I feel sorry for him that he wants me to get back to him. No way Calum Hood. Never in your wildest dreams. He'll pay for everything what he did to me, he'll repent on it. I'll revenge against him. I will.
I went to my bathroom and I take a bath. After I take a bath, I was wrapped by towel and my hair is also toweled. I went to the wardrobe and chose plain jeans, red and black stripes polo with collar, and my shoes were ankle, they're black boots, I chose accessories, it's just a necklace, my mom gave it to me as present for my birthday last when I got 18. My mom gave a simple gold necklace, it's ruby. It's real ruby. Then I removed the towel from my hair and get the hair dryer and dried my hair, when my hair was dried, I combed and brushed my hair. I decide it to make my hairstyle, I want my hairstyle is, French braid. I get my make-up box, it's pretty heavy, I got a load of it. I wear a little make-up, I don't want heavy make-up, I feel sick and suck about it. I feel like I'm so ugly.
When I'm ready to go, I bring my Hermes bag and I went off to the collaboration again. This is so weird and awkward. I wish, if there's any chance for me to escape, that would be, I'll go and find a secret passage to walkout. I don't really know what's our real status. We're so complicated. I don't even know what to do. I was-ugh. I'm tense and awfully mad. I know he's raving me mad again at those pathetic memories. I know to myself that I wanted to make up the past but I can't. I realized that it's too ridiculous for me to bring it up again. I know this isn't wrong, I should avoid him. I must.
When I got to the studio, where the boys are and their two other band crew were there too. It's Abby and Gemma. I know that Calum is still taken. He's trying to play me up and toying me. I'm still single but someone wants to court me before him. It's James. James McVey. His friend. A lead guitarist from the Vamps, he does do vocals. I should be taken before, all I know now was, he broke up with Lauren. I don't know why. I shouldn't mind it anyway, it's other's problem.
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4 Years • c.h.
FanfictionA love with full of awkwardness and secrets behind. Both of them will fix the last memory of their 4 years past. Could they fall in love again? Their worlds had become different since their were drifted apart. Patricia became rude, selfish, pessimis...
