𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 • 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒆

* pieces *

Often in life, it all comes down to a moment. Just one moment of loneliness to slide a hastily scrawled note under a door. One moment of desperate courage to sprint down a staircase and not miss a chance. One moment to take a hand under the stars. One moment to whisper a secret. One moment to smile, one moment to fall, one moment for a heart to skip a beat.

One moment to bring it all crashing down.

And in just one moment, he was alone again. He wondered, if he had the choice, which of those moments would he do over?

***

One month later.

It was a quarter to one. As usual, Richie Tozier was wide awake. As usual, he was alone. He was walking in the middle of a dimly lit road, cigarette between his teeth and hands in his pockets. His footsteps were eerily loud in the quiet - he still wasn't quite used to hearing them all alone.

He hadn't seen Eddie since that night. Not for lack of trying, of course. He'd knocked on Eddie's door every day for the first week, asking him to talk, to come walking with him, to please just open the door . There was never any reply. Richie supposed he had never really expected there to be, but he still felt his heart break a little more each time he turned away from that door.

He'd taken instead to walking alone again. Eddie was back to being an empty silhouette in a faraway window. But Richie didn't give up. Every night, he would stand under the streetlight in view of Eddie's window. He would wave. And he would wait. Just like he had so many months ago.

Eddie never came out. After a while, Richie stopped hoping he would.

But he never stopped waiting.

***

"He hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't."

"You're wrong this time, Bill. You didn't see the look on his face. It was like I'd burned him. Like he'd never been so disgusted in his life..."

***

It was three in the morning, and Eddie had his knees to his chest. He was staring out the window. Staring where Richie had disappeared so many hours ago, and wondering when he would finally come back.

He couldn't go to see Richie. He just couldn't. Because he knew exactly how it would go - Richie would tell him in person just how badly Eddie had fucked it all up. He would tell him that he'd gone too far, that it was getting out of hand, that Richie was straight and would never ever like him that way. He would tell him he was sorry, but that he couldn't be around someone like Eddie, who couldn't even control his stupid crush on his obviously uninterested friend. He would tell him that there was nothing else to be done, and that he simply couldn't see him anymore.

Eddie knew this. He knew and he understood and he wouldn't try to change Richie's mind. It was fine. It was fine .

He just... wasn't ready to hear it yet. He needed some more time to accept it, to move on, to come to terms with losing one of his closest friends. He couldn't deal with it. Not right now.