A Smoothie of Fucked Up

Fast Forward to...

    Let's talk about my first year at my new school for a little before I tell you about middle school. My first day my teacher assigned a "friend" to me. I'll get to the quotation marks later. She had a little posse of three I think. One of them I'm still friends with. She was nice to me I guess, but me being the naive little bitch I am... I thought that she was actually quite nice. I didn't speak much english when I first transferred, and would often just nod my head as if I understood. How bad was it? My teacher gave us homework and I didn't know that it was homework. Anyways this kid, let's call her Satan's adopted child and name her Stan. She was quite nice at first, but her little posse and their idea of fun... let's just say they were her minions. During recess time they came up with the idea that IF I wanted to be friends with them I had to go through a series of "tests". Now this is what the government and college students call hazing. Apparently in order to "pledge" into their little posse to become minion number 2 I had to complete the process. Honestly at the time I didn't think much of it, I was just kinda like uh ok for sure. IN MY DEFESE I WAS DESPERATE TO MAKE FRIENDS OKAY? KEEP YO JUDGEMENTS TO YOURSELF! Anyhoooooo I carried their stuff, went to get their stuff, and that was basically it. OH YEAH! They made me keep a leaf so that "I'd know to take care of my friends" honestly, some parents do that with an egg that eventually goes bad. I never ended up in their friend group and let me tell you why. 

  One recess I was in the play area and was talking to "Lily" and she had asked me where Stan was. I said "I dunno, I think they're at some club making food or something." and somehow word got into Stan's devil ears that I had apparently called her "stupid, and lame" or something mean. I don't really remember the exact words. So now they won't talk to me, and I had no friends. It turns out I didn't consider them friends either and ended up hanging out with the most popular kids in our year. AND THAT TURNED TO SHIT. Here goes the fast forward.... you ready?????

  Middle school. First day. I came back from Hawaii and bought these bracelets for my new friends. I gave it to them on the first day. It turns out I didn't really know what was going on. But really. Does that come to shock anyone? They didn't want to be friends with me, and I didn't liked them that much anyways. They were nice, but oh well? I started hanging out with some new friends. She is what I'd call, my ride or die. She is my best friend, someone that I can be myself around. Haven't found another person that I'm okay being myself even to this day. Anyways her name is Layla, we lived very close together and hung out a lot. I'd see her 7 days out of a week! Unfortunately, she had to move to Scotland where her dad had transferred his work to. Life hit hard. It was hard for me to make new friends, and not having my best friend was hard. It was then I started having issues with everything.