my heartbreak

I believe your words, the way they sound the way they wrap around me like a huge warm blanket, I sink into your eyes, those eyes that grab my attention. the warm blue eyes that suck in and under your spell.

when I met you everything about you made me fall for you, but like predator luring his prey in I followed you into the dark, to come out the other side half the person I was. why am I so scared to tell you how I feel, scared to open my mouth and let my heart speak. for when I do you rip me to pieces and slam the door in my face.

why? why do I like you? why do I keep letting you in when all you do is hurt me and make me feel stupid for liking you. you step on me every chance you get, then you are nice and make me laugh drawing me back into your darkness, and time and time again I fall for your charm and that smile.

you cut me deep, watch me bleed and laugh like its my fault for letting you in, I tell you things and use them as weapons against me, I give and give and you blindly take everything I give you not knowing that the more I give the more the light in me starts to dim, but I still let you in and pray for the day you open your eyes and see that I'm the one for you, that I'm the one that will treat you right and never hurt or betray you. yet I see the good in you I see your heart buried deep from the pain you have lived through, I see the sweet caring side that you hide from everyone, letting no one in and keeping everyone at arms length. I want to help you heal I want to show there are good people but everytime I try you push me away.

sweet and nice will talk to me when its just you and me, but when others come around you push me back to the ground and stick the knife back in. do you see how much you hurt me, do you care? I keep holding out hoping for a miracle but the more I wait and the more you hurt me, the more little pieces of me die, the weaker I become from letting you in to only get the door slammed in my face again. when will I learn