I beena hiurin' all kindsa tales about womern folk an' church. Hit's got me to thankin' 'bout when I was a youngin'. Ever fird Sundee ever body on the crick piled in at little church house. Law I can member the sanging and the tag preachin' an how hit'd go on fer airs an airs.
Ye see ... not fer up in Kuitch's Holler they was branches er hollers at brancht off duh crick. They was Granny Peg an her famly up on Loss Branch and en they was Aunt Polly Anna an her bunch up on Mcintosh. Ye see, The firs fellor in ease hiur parts was my great great granpa. Granny Peg was 'is daughter. Her oldess bruvver's youngess son marreet Polly Anna who was the gran-youngin uh Peg's momma's bruvver. Duh two of em had outlived they's husbans an was considered leaders of they's respected famlees. Nobody argueed at point. Ever body ruspected em boaf an boaf of em's famlees attended uh same church as I did. You member em ole funeral fans? Duh funeral homes'd give em out fer advurtizin. Well, Granny Peg had one wiff duh lass supper on hit an Polly Anna had one wiff Jesus in a red robe leanin on a big rock. Neaver showed up wiffout er fan wiff er. Granny Peg would sit closest to the isle on duh leff side front pugh and Aunt Polly Anna juss opposite her in uh front right sdie pugh right nexta duh isle.
Aunt Polly Anna's youngiss son had a speech peddimint. His name was Zach. Dis one Sundee he was a sittin right side er. Church was a goin on as useyul. Duh sanging seemta go on ferever den duh preachin', well, hit lasted a while. Aunt Polly Anna and Granny Peg boaf had air fans a flappin a site.
Ole Preacher Tom was abouta wrap thangs up when he axt iffin they was any prayer requests. Dat's when hit'd always git started. heheHEE ... Granny Peg started it iss time. She said, "yes Bruvver Tom, ina like tuh requess prayer fer my kinfolk hiur, Polly, an her famlee up on McIntosh. They's needin it." Granny Peg lookt over at Aunt Polly and smiled, flappin er fan. They was a couple more folks axted fer prayers, den, all sudden Aunt Polly blurted out, "Preacher Tom ... Ine gotta requess ... Ine liketa axt fer prayers fer ever fang from duh head to duh mouf uh Loss's Branch cause they is a needin it."
They was a starin at each uvver a flappin they's fans tuh beat ninety when all a sudden somebody started sanging, 'One bright mornin' when iss life is over ... I'll Fly Away ..." Folks started tuh gittin up and greetin one nuvver an ever body was a sangin..... DEN ... when duh song ended, Zach stuck boaf arms up in uh air an bellered out "GRORY HALDAROOTER, I FRY A WAY!" Granny Peg looked over at Aunt Polly Anna, snickert, started tuh flappin her fan and hummim" "I'll Fly Away" as she left duh church.
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"RUSPECT"
HumorStorytelling bit by my character Earl S. Tucker about church ladies.
