ineffable husbands (fluff and smut)

1 - the confession

(Crowley's pov)

I sit staring out the window of my flat. My coffee on the table has long gone cold. Gazing out the window, I let my thoughts drift. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss him. I miss Aziraphale.

I've long since accepted my feelings for him. After all, It's not like its a new thing. But my longing for him creates an ache in my chest. 

I sigh as I watch the rain, remembering when I first started to fall for the angel. When he outstretched his wing to shelter me from the rain. No one has shown me kindness like he has. I think of him as my best friend, but even more than that, I think I've truly grown to love him.

I try to push these thoughts aside. I'm almost certain that a man (well, angel) that great could never truly love a fiend like me.

I look at the time and start. Aziraphale will be here soon for dinner. I wonder what he'll bring.

------

After I'm showered and dressed, I wait eagerly for his arrival.  

I hear a knock at the door and I smile.

Pulling open the door, I welcome the angel inside.

"Oh Cowley, its so good to see you." Aziraphale says smiling at me. Oh his smile just makes the ache in my heart grow.

"Crowley?" the angel says, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"S- sorry, nothing" I sputter, turning quickly. I need to pull myself together, he can't find out how I feel. It would ruin everything.

"I brought pasta!" Aziraphale says excitedly, changing the subject. "Oh! and wine!"

"Perfect" I respond happily.

---- 

After we finish eating, we sit on my couches sipping the wine he brought.

"Read any good books lately?" I ask him.

"Yes, in fact I have" he says happily. As he continues to gush about the last literary work he's dived into, I can help but let my mind drift. He's so gorgeous, and the way he lights up about all the things he loves just makes him even more stunning. Oh how I long to run my fingers through his hair, how i long to pull him close, how i long to call him mine, how i-

"Crowley?" Aziraphale interrupts my thoughts, "are you even listening?"

"What? O- of course I am" I say.

"What's going on, Crowley?" he says setting down his wine glass.

"Hm? What do you mean?" I say, trying to feign confidence.

"You're acting all awkward and nervous. That's not like you at all," he responds, looking worried. "Is something wrong?"

I shift in my seat, looking at my hands. "It's nothing, Angel. I just have a lot on my mind."

He crosses the room to sit beside me and I stiffen.

"What's on your mind, Crowley?" he says. "You've known me long enough to know that you can talk to me about anything."

I look at him, his whole body language coveys his willingness to help. But he can never know my real feelings; that I decided long ago. I don't want to ruin what I have with him already. I can't lose my first and only friend, my best friend, over some feelings I have that he couldn't possibly share. I decide to be vague.

"There's this guy..." I start.

"There's a guy?" the angel asks coldly, suddenly shifting away from me. I look at him confused. Why would he care?

I begin again, "Well you see, I-"

"Actually, I think I'd better go," Aziraphale says abruptly, getting up.

"Angel, what?" I say, standing as well. "What's going on?"

He walks toward to door.

"No, Angel! Come back!" I say following him. Why is he acting like this? Aziraphale reaches the door and turns sharply toward me.

"I see how it is Crowley" the angel says, tears in his eyes. His voice breaks as he says, "I should have known better."

"Aziraphale! Please," I beg, "just tell me what's going on!"

He looks back at me, tears beginning to fall. "I thought I was the only one... I thought... I thought. well, it doesn't matter what I thought!"

The only one? He couldn't possibly mean... Is he saying what I think he's saying?

"Who is he?" the angel asks fiercely.

I can't believe it. He may really have feeling for me. I stand there, completely blown away.

"Well? Answer me!" Aziraphale shouts.

"Angel..." I say. Good god, I've blown this! I've ruined everything! "Angel, please don't cry."

"Why shouldn't I?" he yells, "The love of my life has fallen for another man!"

"I- I'm the love of your life?" I ask dumbfounded.

"Oh Crowley, you oblivious bastard! Of course you are!" he exclaims. "But I guess that doesn't matter now"

The angel sniffs, gathering himself, "I really should get going."

"Angel wait!" I plead, raising my voice. "Please! You misunderstand!"

"What do I misunderstand, Crowley?" he says coolly, "Things seem pretty clear."

"Oh angel, you're the one I love!"

Silence.

He looks at me, eyes wide.

"Do you really mean that Crowley?" he asks, red-rimmed eyes filled with hope.

"I do," I say stepping forward to cup his face in my hands. "I really, really do."

"Oh Crowley," he says softly, pulling me into the tightest and best hug I'd ever felt. "Why didn't you just say so?"