It all happened at a Coffee Shop. I didn’t know much about Ghouls back then. I was afraid of them. Afraid of what they were capable to do to humans. Afraid of having an encounter and not being capable of running away. But I lived my life normally.
I didn’t have friends but Hide, people used to bully me at school because I was always carrying a book, I guess they used to consider me as a weirdo, and I was all alone until I met him. Dad and mom died, and I had to learn how to live by my own since I was a little kid, thing that now I’m capable to do without problems.
It all happened at a Coffee Shop. It was the first time I saw you. Although I didn’t know you, I thought you were cute. Yeah, I remember that day perfectly: dressed like a waitress, with your hair covering the right eye, pale white skin as snow, that red blush in your face when Hide asked for your name, the embarrassed sound of your voice when you replied and how you run away when he asked if you had a boyfriend. It always makes me smile because it was the first time I heard your name, and it was a funny incident, I couldn’t believe that was the same Touka that I met after.
Anyways, you left, and I was too busy to care. I could never imagine that it were going to be the day that my life would change, that it were going to be the last time as a human. Shit, I can barely remember how does that feel, I surely I miss it, but I don’t regret what happened, and the reason of that is you, Touka. It is funny now that I think, that I went to the coffee shop for a date trying to find love, and I found it. Not in the way I thought, but I did. It took me so long to realize that the girl who I considered cute ended up being the girl who I fell in love with. And is not that I was looking for it or forcing it, I think the best of this feeling is that happened suddenly. Who would imagine that I would fall in love with the girl who treated me like shit the first time? The one who acted all cold and rude with me? I don’t know what it was, but I just couldn’t stop worrying about you. You seemed all alone too, just like me, and even when you acted all offensive with me, I stayed by your side, because I knew, deep in my heart, that all you wanted is someone who cares about you, even if you didn’t want to admit it.
I wish I never left. It was the most stupid thing I’ve ever done. I promised you that I won’t leave you alone and I did. I regret it, with all my heart. Maybe if I stayed by your side I would have been able to tell you my feelings. I could have taken care of you, and protect you. Because that’s all I wanted to do: protect you. I thought I wasn’t strong enough to do it, but now I realize that yes, I wasn’t, but I could have got stronger by your side. Now that I remember all of this, it makes me wanna cry, even if I don’t have eyes now and I’m about to die, I wanna cry. Because I want you to be here so bad, I wanna hear your voice, see your face, touch your skin, just one more time before I’m gone. Because I love you Touka, and I will never forgive myself for abandoning you. Shit, I want you to know what I feel but I have no strength to move a finger.
[…]
Now that I have no eyes, I cannot see anything but your face in the darkness, and it’s beautiful.
