It’s been two days since Kaneki’s appearance. Touka has been taking care of him, something that it’s hard to imagine. She made coffee for him, did his laundry, washed his back –she was nervous and all red to see an almost nude Kaneki-. He was recovering slowly, but there was no change in the eyes yet, they weren’t growing back. Also, Kaneki had memory loss and couldn’t remember much things, like how he was accepted on Anteiku or what he was doing in Touka’s apartment (she had to explain to him).
Touka felt nervous the first night that Kaneki slept in her apartment because there was just one bed, and she had nowhere else to sleep, not even in the floor, she had no sleeping bags. She slept by his side that night, in the same bed. Kaneki was resting exhausted and she doubted that he could notice something and even when she was nervous, she felt happy, she didn’t know when that was going to happen again so she enjoyed the few hours that it lasted, taking Kaneki’s hand and wishing him good night, staring for a few minutes at his face enlightened by the moon before she fell asleep. She still blushes when remembers that night but also feel a warm sensation in her chest.
She was making coffee while Kaneki was still sleeping, wishing for him to fully recover, so in that way they could have a nice chat, maybe a little date, just for the two of them. She missed him so much that she didn’t want to stay away anymore, she was decided to expend all the time she had free at Kaneki’s side, the only thing she was afraid of was that Kaneki gets tired of her, she didn’t want to be rejected, not by him, not by the only person who actually cared about her, not the only person who she loved since she lost her family.
She took the coffee to the room, and took a sit along Kaneki’s side. He was still sleeping, and she smiled while she caressed his hair.
T: Get well soon Kaneki
His face had a peaceful look while he was sleeping and she wished he wasn’t so broken, she still didn’t know what happened that made him change so drastically. What they did to his Kaneki? why that sweet boy had to change into a human-killing machine?. “I should have looked for him instead of pushing myself away” she thought.
K: Touka-chan…
Kaneki was awake, as he moved his eyelids Touka felt like a cold breeze in her neck, Kaneki losing his eyes was her fault, maybe if she treated him well instead of tell him to stay away from Anteiku he would be healthy, here, making coffee with her. But even in that situation, Touka noticed that Kaneki smiled.
T: Kaneki…
He used to have a look in his eyes like black holes in the sky, but now he seems to be the Kaneki she met before, the same who told her that he would be grieving if she died, the same who was training with her all the time.
K: Touka-chan… I’m back –said Kaneki with a smile on his face
T: Kaneki… -her eyes were watering- you idiot…
K: That’s so you… always rude…
T: Eh… I’m sorry
K: You don’t have to be sorry, Touka-Chan, that’s you, that’s the Touka-Chan I like- he kept the smile all the time
Touka’s face went red. Kaneki just said that he likes her. She wanted to see his face, but everytime she did it she felt guilty, Kaneki’s lack of eyes remember her all the mistakes that she thought she made.
T: Kaneki… I…
K: Thank you for taking care of me Touka-Chan
T: Emm… it’s not… it doesn’t bother me…
K: I wish I could see your face right now, I wish I had eyes to see the way you decorate a coffee again, I really like your rabbits
T: Shut up… stupid Kaneki, shut up…
Touka started crying, this was the first time she cried in front of Kaneki.
K: Eh…? Touka-Chan! Don’t cry! Why are you crying?
T: Maybe if I, maybe if I… maybe if I didn’t yell at you like that you would have stayed here… you would be healthy, not like this… Maybe if I…
K: Stop, Touka-chan
Touka looked at Kaneki’s face, he was still smiling and had his eyes closed. Then, even though he couldn’t see, he found the way to Touka’s hand. “It feels so soft” he thought. Touka had her face red, her eyes were glimmering.
T: Kaneki…
K: It wasn’t your fault at all Touka-Chan, even if I can’t remember much things like how Anteiku accepted me, I remember perfectly that I left. I was the one who left, who abandoned you.
T: Kaneki… you…
K: Stop, it was my fault, all my fault. This is the consequence of my decisions, but is not what I regret the most. No. The thing I regret the most is all the time I lost being far away from you guys, especially you.
T: Me? –Touka’s eyes glimmer intensifies- why… why me?
K: Because you were the only one I truly missed you. We were together all this time since I became a ghoul. How can I forget that? Yes, you treated me like trash the first days...
Touka smiled and thought “Baka”
K: But then I felt like you cared about me. And you came for me when I was kidnaped. You risked your life for me.
T: At the end… you ended up saving me
K: I couldn’t let anyone hurt you again, not even your brother.
T: I remember that day, it was strange, you already had your silver hair
K: Oh yeah, that…well, I can always dye it back to black
T: Kaneki… umm…
K: Yeah?
T: There are something I always wanted to ask you
K: And what would that be?
T: Ummm…. What… what do they did to you back then? Why… why you suddenly change?
K: Oh… that…I wish I could say I don’t remember… but I remember everything…
Kaneki’s face expression changed a bit, he looked more serious.
T: You don’t have to…
K: Don’t worry! I’ll tell you everything!
There was a silence for a few seconds, like the silence prior to the tragedy.
