The Godly Lover ( REPUBLISHED )

*iv*

I checked my phone, it was five in the morning, I had to get up for work in an hour, but I was running on less than three hours of sleep. Insomnia always seemed to creep up when I slept without Gabe, like both my body and devil knew he was distant and a little hurt, ever since he stumbled into my life I couldn't get enough of him. I was starting more and more to believe he was my soulmate, but the fear of rejection held me back from reviling myself to him.

The constant overthinking kept me up tonight, did I do something wrong? He seemed so distraught when he left his room. He abandoned me, leaving me to cry myself to sleep, I hated that he had that effect on me, I hated that he had that power over me.

But things weren't going to fix themselves, so I ventured into the living room where I suspected he was. I buttoned up his dress shirt, covering my nudeness and made my way to the front room. My suspicions were correct, he was there laying on the couch, blunt in hand. I guess he couldn't sleep either.

The atmosphere was dark and I got nervous fiddling with my nails. I wasn't sure what to say at that moment, i only ever apologised when I knew I really fucked up, but that wasn't the case this time. "Go back to bed, Elizabeth," he bellowed, he must of heard me come in. I hated my name, but when Gabe said it, it sounded like a symphony of some sorts.

"I can't sleep without you," my voice sounded small, kinda pathetic and I kicked myself for it.

"Right. Look I'm not in the mood for sex. Just go to sleep, Elizabeth." He told me, still taking puffs of the blunt.

"Is that what you think I want?"

"Isn't it always what you want, casual sex." He sat up this time, putting out the bud before scanning my body.

"Gabriel, I....care about you."

"Sure," He got up, turning to the door, his arms crossed.

"It's true I really do. Yes, it took me time to figure out my feelings but now I'm sure," he turned around to look at me.

"Something's holding you back, what is it?" I stayed quiet. "What the fuck is it, Liz. Just tell me!"

It felt like ages before I spoke, everything I tired, I couldn't bring myself to say it. "I don't want to lose you, but me being vulnerable with someone is a no go."

"Why can't you just open up to me, what's so bad about it?"

"When is the other shoe gonna drop?" He seemed confused "When will you leave, when will I leave, when is this going to end?" I started to cry, ".....I can't lose you."

I collapsed on the floor, letting the tears stream down my face. He finally broke me and I didn't know how to handle it. The footsteps approaching me warned me of the large figure who sat next to me, bringing me closer to him. I laid my head on his chest and cried as he ran his fingers through my hair, relaxing me. "I'm here and I'll never leave."

It felt like an eternity before I noticed the blood between my legs, "I'm on my period."

"I guessed, seeing that there was blood on my dick."

We got off the floor, Gabe carrying me to the bathroom. He proceeded to run a bath, then put me down for a second to remove his boxers, I appreciated the view of course. I did the same taking off his shirt. Gabe then took me back in his arms and after, descended into the bathtub.

The water was scolding, but I had learned that that's how Gabe liked it, which I had to get used to. I was straddling him with my arms around his neck and his around my middle bringing me closer to him. We just enjoyed each others company, not wanting to say anything that could ruin this moment.