Bella's Pov
2 years ago..
I was sitting with my brother tanner talking about our favorite band. Sleeping with sirens meant everything to him and i. It's one of the few things we had in common. "Can't wait to go to their concert with you tiny sophomore," Tanner grinned as he hugged me.
I scoffed and giggled. "I'm not tiny I'm fun size," I giggled as my brother chuckled. "So which song do you love the best?" I asked my brother. He stood up and grabbed my hand dragging me down stairs.
"Do it now remember it later, oh and kick me," Tanner said as I nodded making breakfast for us and our parents. Recently we had many problems with our "parents". I'm the disgrace of this family according to my mother, and for my father I'm a worthless piece of trash....but for my brother I'm his angel.
"Why do they hate me?" I whispered as we finished breakfast. "They just don't understand that God send us a beautiful angel that is so kind, they will see that trust me one day," Tanner said as he kissed my cheek. I nodded sitting down.
"Mom! Dad! Breakfast ready," Tanner shouted. I smiled, this is the first time I'm going to eat with my parents. They came downstairs and smiled at tanner ignoring my presence. "Aww you are such a sweet boy," my mom said as Tanner looked at me instead of replying.
"Every girl would be lucky to have you son," My dad grinned as he sat down. Tanner sat next to me and held my hand to calm me down. I want it to brake down its tears and scream for them to notice their only daughter they have. Was I really that ugly they didn't want me?
I started eating and it was delicious. I just couldn't get enough of one pancake so I was about to grab another one. "What are you doing Bella? Do you want to end up looking like a fat pig,"My own mother spat at me. Let me tell you that hurt badly.
"mom I just ate one," I said as my mom rolled her eyes. "Shut up you disgraceful child! Respect your mother...get off of the table now you fat child," My dad hissed as tears formed my eyes. For one stupid pancake they hate me. "Don't talk to her like that," Tanner hissed as he stood up with me. "Tanner do not get too close to her she might have stds for all I know....your sister is such a slut....those rumors ruined our lifes," my mom hissed as more tears spilled down my eyes.
"Rumors that's all you hear about and you instally believe them? And how can you talk that way about your own daughter.....are you sure you have the rights to be parents," Tanner growled as my dad and mom stood their speechless. "Come one Bella get ready for the concert," Tanner whispered as I nodded.
I feel so bad that tanner always defends me and I'm so much of a wuz that I can't defend myslef. It was already 8pm and my parents were asleep and I finished getting ready
. Tanner came by my room and we jumped down the window sneaking to dad's car. "He us going to get mad,"I mumbled as Tanner rolled his eyes. "Fuck him,"Tanner grinned as I got in the car.
(Okay this is going to be kinda of like raise your voice movie.....so give credit to that movie not me ^_^)
_After the concert_
We had a freaking blast and Tanner bought me shirts and a hoodie. "Come on sissy let's go," Tanner said as I nodded skipping towards the car. Tanner started the car and speed to the road. "Let's jam to Kick me?" Tanner asked as I nodded grinning.
Let's hang the jury
You sick judgemental fools
I’ll bury you six feet deep
So tired of your rules
Fuck you and your opinion
How could you be so blind?
What goes around
Comes back around in time
You don’t know shit
You don’t know shit about me
You don’t know shit, shit, shit
Don’t know a goddamn thing about me
Keep looking down on me,
I am more than you’ll ever be
Cut me deep but I won’t bleed
You're gonna kick, kick
Kick me when I’m down
We sang together. I put the volume upper and started singing taking turns. "Look I have a guitar," I giggled making Tanner turn to look at me. But little did I know that turn was going to break me and change my life. "Tanner!" I screamed as we were about to crash to a car. Tanner turned over and the breaks broke causing him to hit a tree.
The last thing I remember seeing my brother hitting his head in the window and hitting back to the steering wheel. I blacked out.
_the day after_
I opened my eyes and the light hurted my eyes. Once I opened my eyes my head started to throb and my leg. I saw an ivy attached to my hand and I realized I was in a hospital. TANNER?! Where is he? I started to panic and I looked to my right and my brother was there looking at me.
I tried to talk but I couldn't. Tanner reached for my hand and I hold it and smiled at him. Why can't I talk to him? Why can't I talk at all. Tanner stared at me and smiled. I know that smile he would always give me when he was going to work and I had to stay at home.
"I love you," Tanner mouthed as he closed his eyes. His hand slipped from mine and my world collide. A machine started making a long beeeeeeeep sound. He can't leave me. 'Tanner don't go' I cried in my head. I pressed the emergency button and doctors rushed to my brother's side. I watched as more tears came from eyes. My friend, my hero, my angel is leaving me.
The doctor were trying to bring him back at life but nothing happened his body went limp. I tried to stand up even though it hurt.....but my brother I need him. A nurse ran towards me trying to get me to lay down. I let out a scream of pain and frustration. The nurse grabbed a needle and it felt like she stabbed me to my own death.
_Days later_
I was a mess ever since my brother died. My parents hate me…..even I hate myself. I walked inside home with out my brother goofing around me. His bright smile that was so contagious. His awesome comebacks. Everything about him was like it was never there.
It was like I was the ghost who doesn’t want to forget. Everything we did is in my heart, my mind, memories locked in my heart. Flashbacks when we were kids playing, when I got sick he would be by my side.
And all that vanished away because of me. I entered inside the house I use to call home….but it’s so empty. I look around and my eyes landed on my mom crying with my dad. They look up and saw me. My dad clenched his jaw.
“It’s your fucking fault you stupid bitch! Our son only son……we should’ve let you go to the damn foster home,” My dad screamed as I cried. What does he mean? “You stupid worthless fat bitch....it's your fault he died your fucking fault bitch!” My mom screamed as she slapped me causing me to fall to the ground.
TANNER I NEED YOU! “S-stop,” I sobbed as my dad chuckled darkly. “We did this for him…he got attached and actually thought you were his sister……but you are a worthless bitch who’s dad is in jail and her mom in rehab!” My “dad” said as he yank me from my hair.
They aren’t my parents!? For the whole week I lived with them my body was full of bruises, and scars I made. I gained weight and got depressed. I will have nightmares of my brother when he died because of me. He died because of me!
Eventually my not so real dad died for drinking everyday and my not real mom died for shooting herself. I was left alone, even my friend Kyle couldn’t help me from the hell I was in.
I lived in the streets for days always crying for my brother, who I miss so so so much. Weeks after that, my real parents found me and took me in. I got help and now my mother had triplets and we were a happy family. But I’m still not over it….my hero, my friend, my other half, my angel, my brother is gone. It hurts that I can’t get him back, because of me.
END OF FLASHBACK.
Kyle left with the others since i made them leave.....for sometime alone. I grabbed the guitar that i left in the tree house. "This is for you Brother." I whispered as i started singing Someone's watching over me by Hilary duff.
Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me
Someone's watching over me....
I sighed and left the tree house. Come on Bella you promised you wasn't going to cry. He doesn't want this Bella....he is in a better place. But i can't he means the world to me.
