Gilmore Girls: Breaking Free

Chapter 40: A Clean Slate

In the weeks leading up to Rory and Logan's wedding, their family came together as often as possible, making the most of the fresh start they had all been given at the beginning of the new year. Shira returned to York and was very much impacted when she finally connected with the son she had never wanted to give away. Many tears were shed as the rest of the family looked on from a distance that day, trying to imagine what this moment would be like. For Shira it was like giving birth all over again and she knew she would always treasure the first time she looked into the eyes of her beloved son. Holding him in her arms, she gently sobbed over years lost but as Ryan had looked into her eyes, Shira saw forgiveness and understanding. The judgement and anger she had always imagined, was nowhere to be seen!

Ryan had grasped Shira's hands and quietly reassured his birth mother, "When your hands were not able to hold me, I was held and cared for by two beautiful people who needed a son to love.... and I have been carried all my life by a Higher source too. My Spina Bifida made me stronger and took me to places I never dreamed of!"

"I just wanted both my boys.... I loved you so much and there has never been a day when I have stopped wanting you!" Shira had shared as she was overcome with another wave of emotion. "I'm glad you had someone to take my place.... they have done a fine job of raising you! .......I can't believe how much you look like both Logan and Honor!"

As if on cue, Honor and Logan had walked over to join their mother and brother, feeling intense emotions welling inside of them. It had been time for Shira to at last experience the joy of having all of her children together at once!

Rory and Melissa stood by, watching the emotional scene, each instinctively placing a hand on their belly, wondering how Shira stood the pain of not getting to raise both her twins.

"I've broken free from your father and everything associated with society and filed for a divorce.... something I probably should have done long ago...." Shira admitted sadly, "I can't go back in time but I certainly am determined to spend as much time with you all.... that's if you'll have me!"

"Of course we will," they said in unison, intensifying the group hug that seemed to go on forever!

Honor was an emotional mess as she spent time with Logan's twin for the first time but pulled herself together enough to joke, "Oh my, I always wondered what I would have looked like if I were a guy and here you are! Welcome to our crazy family Ryan! You know I think Logan would have been much better behaved if you had been around when we were growing up! Maybe he wouldn't have needed to tease me so much!"

"That's so untrue Honor... don't listen to her Ryan... I was a model brother!" Logan pouted as they all laughed.

"I'm sure you all would have gotten on so well but you know, while we can't go back in time, we can forge so many new family memories together!" Shira acknowledged. "I can't believe I'm going to have two new sets of grandchildren this year! I am so excited and can't wait to spoil them!"

"Actually Mom......," Honor began, "Josh and I were going to wait a couple more weeks until we said anything .........but we are expecting too!"

"Oh my goodness!" Shira cried, "That's amazing... this is just going to be the best year ever! Five new grandchildren!"

Everyone was offering their congratulations, so happy to hear this latest news. It was just one big, happy, noisy celebration!

Rory was glad to have Shira helping with all the last minute wedding preparations, as pregnancy fatigue was still an issue for her. Logan at last had found the mother he had always dreamed of; one who was there when he needed her, listening to his concerns and showing love and compassion like he had never seen before. Between the two of them, they came up with a plan to convert Logan's seaside home into an affordable holiday location, especially for families dealing with children with disabilities. Ryan was extremely helpful in the process of thinking through the special requirements and alterations needed and was going to play the important role of part time chaplain. Shira herself was appointed as the manager, which was a much needed distraction as she began to build a new life for herself and helped considerably with her ongoing sense of guilt in not being able to care for Ryan as he grew up.