"WAIT FOR YOU"

CHAPTER XV

I feel numb, I have loved him too much. Did my expectation was too high? Just because two people loved each other very much more than they loved themselves that doesn't mean they are meant for each other. Sometimes maybe, they are just their dreams to be together.

I after swimming back and forth. I feel exhausted and at the same time. I feel tired instead of feeling hurt for a while. I know I will be fine. Because I will fucking be fine. As I was approaching Neil and Eden who was now sitting on the seashore. They both smiled at me as if telling me I will be alright. But I just took a deep breath and I sit beside Neil who is next to Eden on his right side.

"You will be fine. I don't want you to think she's better than you because for fucking out loud you're a hundred times more than any woman I know who exists in my present." Neil told me but staring at the dark ocean we are staring at. I chuckle at his words.

"No matter how good at you when people will always fuck up, and I can't stop thinking maybe I am the problem on us, but I can't think of any. Which breaking to the point of questioning my worth to him." I was smiling bitter and I glance at my two best friends who are twisting their heads back and forth.

"One day, you will realize that maybe the reason he fucks up things for you is that someday someone will be more worth it Olivia," Eden argues to my statement.

"Let's see." I shrug at them. "Common guys, Let's drink the night." I was about to stand up but Eden said "I will be leaving after graduation. And I only have a few days with the two of you so I just want to say, it will never be the same going somewhere without you Neil and Oliva." I stare at him and it makes me sadder facing the reality that in the next weeks I'll be also living my life somewhere else.

"The day after the graduation I already have my tickets to NEW YORK and I even have my college application already which I got in so just the two of you and my grandparents who know I'm leaving that same day. And I'll be suffering lots from missing the two of you but I needed the most right now, which is a good shot for me too." I hugged Eden while Neil was patting my back and chuckling.

"Whew! I don't want to grow up so soon." Neil added and I laugh at his statement the type of him.

"It sucks though. I'll try to visit when there's an opportunity for me to go to New York since it's 6 hours flight compares from here in Melbourne to New York which is a 22 hours flight I guess." Eden added

"Well, I'll be the only one who will be stuck here I guess since I'll just go to the nearest university instead. You know how I hated city life so yeah. If the two of you change your mind I'll be welcoming the two of you with a banner." He told us both with a teasing smile to his face.

"Well, I won't be around for years so you guys will miss me duh!" then I walk away from them to follow me.

I enter the club but I don't expect Adam and Jane knowing him. He might be thinking somewhere but not here. It's funny how you can read someone else manners but it never goes on you.

We drunk the night, every student and circle of friends. Get themselves drunk. Sophia and Hailey join us, around 3 in the morning when I decided to get myself to bed and everyone did the same.

I drunk myself to the point of I can't even remember how did I find my cottage with Sophia and James. Around afternoon, Hailey was screaming my name and I just don't have the energy to move my self away from the bed.

"That's what you get for thinking that alcohol can be mineral water. I hope you get up now and sober up if you are not still sober enough, so when you get your ass to granny's house, he wouldn't kick you for good."

Then I open my eyes to my cousin whose very annoyed about just staring at her.

She once had a crush and feelings to Adam but I don't know maybe she moved on or whatever.

I decided to sit for a minute and walk myself to the shower room and damn! I feel like my head was made into the rock. It's too heavy and hard.

I was groaning hearing Hailey keep talking about what happened last night that makes me drunk myself.

"I was young last night so I drunk myself. Now get out I'll be packing myself so that we can go home and get over this." I dismissed her which she hated the most when someone will treat her like you know things more than her.

After shutting the door from I'm at peace finally then prepared to pack some clothes and things.

GRADUATION DAY.

After the ceremony, everyone was excited but others are having some momentum to their group of friends but I was silent all the time. Eden and Neil took some pictures with me and I do the same. Everyone was wondering what happens to Jane since was not present to the graduation. I heard someone says she might still drunk with her boyfriend and forgot that today was Graduation day. Then I took a deep breath thinking she might still be with him. And It didn't hurt though but I don't feel anything right now.

I'm turning into numb?

I guess yes. I love him too much but he shattered all my feelings and all our good memories together just for her.

Before the end of the day, I hugged Neil and Eden we promised to still call now and then when we are free of our new surroundings.

9 pm with my Grandfather on my right side. The airplane was about to land and I was staring out the window. When the land below us was now just clouded everywhere.

I feel like my heart was about to explode. Tears were now escaping from my eyes. I can't stop a small sob from myself. The reality was now clear. I was escaping from him from us. He pushes all my limit and I hope he's alright when reality hit him that I can walk away from him. And I know it will hurt him. I still think that if he loved me like how I always see it in his eyes, maybe this will hurt him very much.

I change my number I even block all his accounts and change all my password in social media.

Let's move on Olivia.

Weeks before I start going to college, I always stay in my room. At night I will spend time staring at the star in our rooftop. I was living with my aunt here in New York. She was my mother's youngest sister. She has one daughter who is 3 years old. At day I will accompany her if she asks for ice cream I took her to the mall to get one or for kids rides that will fit her age. I never check my phone since I will be receiving calls when it comes to my family if there is some important matter. But texting and checking my social media account. I don't have any appetite for doing so. I don't know what happens. My mother's sister's family is not that crowded they are a serious type of person. I don't mind since I don't talk also and I need peace of mind by just thinking about him, about all those what if's and questions our relationship. Did he love me for all those years? Because I was damn hurting, crying every night and just want to sleep all those confusing questions.

My family sensed all those changes in me but they never bothered to ask maybe they know why and let me deal my own demons right now.