CHAPTER VII Another Loss
"I'm tryna send somebody wit' him
Somebody let me know what's happenin'
My last name K-I-R-K, Kirk
You know how I rock behind my daddy
You know I never gave a fuck about the world, just about my family
How the fuck I make it to the top same day I lost the nigga that had me?"
Intro By Da Baby bumped through out Carter's Dodge Charger as he was in the parking lot of the church that his father memorial service was being held at. The song really hit during his time of grieve, and even though he had a messed up lung it didn't stop him from drinking a whole pint of Hennessy and rolling blunts back to back. He couldn't find the strength to go in to that church no matter how much Giselle and his mom tried to drag him in there. It was too much to bare and he was actually glad that it wasn't a open casket, Woody was cremated since his body was unrecognizable and Carter couldn't take seeing his lifeless body anyway. How the fire even started was still being investigated, Carter had so many questions that were remained unanswered. He had cried all week, that his tears finally had dried out and he couldn't shed anymore tears, it was kind of like he ran out of them.
Knock. Knock.
He turned his head to his passenger side to see Mirko who gestured for him to unlock the door. He furrowed his eyebrows and unlocked the doors and Mirko hopped in and turned the radio down a notch.. "Man why don't you come inside? All the family want to see you G."
Carter shook his head and took another swig of Hennessy. "Nah, I'm good."
"Carter, it's ya pops funeral bro. You gotta show your face. This shit hard for me too man but I'm in there."
"I'm good." He repeated his self, and put down his bottle and picked up wood preparing to roll another one.
Mirko sucked his teeth. "Man so you just gon sit in this fucking car and smoke and drink your life away instead of going in there?"
"Nigga yeah... it's better than seeing my daddy being laid to rest. And my mans went out the worst way possible." He said as he looked up at the sky, and had moment of silence amongst him self and then went back to rolling his blunt. Mirko genuinely hated seeing his brother like this, and wished he could do something to see him happy.
Mirko ran his hand across his face. "You know he wouldn't want you to be all down and out man, you gotta pick—"
Carter quickly cut him off because he didn't have any desire of hearing anything like that at this moment. . "Nigga I don't want to hear that! My fucking pops is gone bro and you talking about picking myself up and shit?! How nigga? My daddy gone and my nigga went out in the worst fucking way! A fire bro! I know my nigga had to be scared, and the worst part about it I wasn't even there to save him! We don't even know if this shit was a accident or not?! And you chill bro! And now that I think about it we got niggas on our head for what happen to Juice so what if niggas came back and retaliated because of your stupid ass bro! Don't tell me shit nigga! My daddy fucking gone! I don't want shit!" He hollered from the top of his lungs and meant every word he said sincerely. It wasn't him to blame Mirko for anything but he knew it couldn't been a possibility that something fishy went on behind Mirko offing Juice.
"So everything is my fault right?" Mirko questioned, and his voice cracked. "Bet." He then stormed out of the car and Carter picked up his phone and looked at his home screen that was a picture of him and his father when he was a baby and he closed his eyes and the tears started to develop and flow before he could even stop them and before he knew it he banged his head against the steering wheel and started to sob uncontrollably.
