i stare at my boring face
my roommate left whiteboard marker drawings of flowers on the mirror
i want to erase them
fuck that, i don't want to ruin her life anymore than i already will
she'll be relieved, you dumb ass
i put in my contacts
you look like shit today
i smear concealer under my eyes
the purple-blue circles still blatantly there
i turn off the bathroom lights
i put on my coat and grab my keys
inhale the cold air
choke on it you fucking slut
i check my phone
no notifications
obviously
at least i won't break any hearts by leaving anyone on seen
as if anyone cared enough to be hurt by you
i drive to the nearby cafe
i order an expensive coffee
your money is better off someone elses
i take a sip, the bitterness and heat burning my tongue
you deserve it, you little bitch
i drive myself to the park
i check my phone once more
did you expect something?
i take a long drink from the coffee cup and hold it in my mouth
i pop open a bottle of ibuprofen
to get rid of the pain
painkiller
painkiller
painkill
pain
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
1-800-273-8255
please
don't take this lightly
if you need to
call
please
