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𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 :: 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧

Warnings ;
(ANGST), suicidal mentions, blood/gore, broken hearted, down grading, authors feelings, A/N, no happy ending, etc.

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A/N; —PEERCE

;this story needs some backstory. This story is written with how I feel, how I am feeling, how I view things, everything I have been bottling up is here.. a love I will never have, and the guilt that will come with it. The pain and truth that I will never be more than a support character weighs on me, It'll weigh on you as you read. All of the sadness I have felt is here, as a cope. This may pull on the strings on your heart. Please be worn. Thank you

A/N over; —PEERCE

It was a nice and crisp day, the scent of fresh and harsh air tickled the tip of Neito's nose as he walked down the black hard road of the street towards the widely known, UA. The blonde haired boy has been feeling sick, his person changed a lot more than he would like. Usually being a cocky asshole, he was now mostly quiet, all he thought about was him, him was Shinsou Hitoshi, his crush. Well more or less a online friend of his.
Shinsou and Monoma met on a old app that isn't really important. Shinsou was in a relationship with a boy. Monoma never had a good feeling about him.
He would ignore Neito if he greeted him in a chat, if he asked a question or told a joke he was always shot back with a cold reply only for someone else to repeat the joke and it would be the funniest thing in the world..
It kinda hurt Neito, but since he never knew Shinsou's boyfriend, he didn't have a reason to be hurt. Toshi's boyfriend is just a asshole is all. The blonde haired male thought as he walked into the school and checking his phone for notifications.
There was one from Pony, which was about some class things so of course being the ass Neito is, just left her on read, another was from Awase. He was in a group chat with the blonde and purple haired males.
Neito could never look at the chat without his stomach feeling weird. He felt like he ate a stone and it was just stuck at the bottom of his stomach, his throat was rough and choked each time he read the messages.
The boy would smile to himself each time Toshi would say something but then would leave the chat on read if it was Hitoshi's boyfriend. Maybe Monoma was just being jealous... he had no reason to hate the guy, he just always had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Monoma would loose his appetite easier, it was like a stupid quirk. 'Look at this chat and suddenly you can't eat the rest of the day without throwing up'. Which sounded pretty lame. Neito began to develop signs of anxiety. Each time getting worse and worse to the point when he would learn over the familiar white bowl filled with water and puke his guts out.
Doing this many times a week just from the shaking that the anxiety gave him made Monoma feel dizzy and develop a easier way of motion sickness. The blonde got sick easier aswell, having no appetite to eat, throwing up daily, and lack of sleep due to talking to Shinsou wore Neito out mentally and physically. Monoma didn't know how much more he could take, his constant tears he cried, the anxiety, everything was getting to the boy.
Monoma even considered blocking Shinsou from his contacts, but he never did... why? It was simple.. Neito was head over heels for the purple haired weasel.
With shaking hands and tired eyes the blonde took a bite of his meal his friend had left. So far she was the only one that noticed his loss in appetite.
The blonde boy only ate around three bites before running to the bathroom in a hurry. He coughed up into the water choking on air. He couldn't breath, tears fell from his cheeks.
Monoma was emotionally and now physically exhausted. Looking into the bowl he noticed the water was stained with red. There was weird purple flowers in the mix. They would be pretty if the blood wasn't dragging them down into the water as Monoma flushed the bloodied substance. With shaking legs the blonde stood up from the cold bathroom tile and walked back to his bed slowly.
He stumbled some of the way and soon crawled into the covers of his bed as a notification sounded with a 'ring ring' of his phone. With a raspy and shaking voice Monoma answered the phone call. "..Hello?..." The blonde says tiredly into the phone. Who the hell would be up right now? And not to mention calling him at this time. "Hey asshole!" Shinsous voice rang through the phone with excitement. "Wha-? Why are you so excited- you know what time it is?.." Neito said annoyed. He didn't mean for it to sound that way but it did.
"Wellll I have great news and I'm to happy so the first thing I did was call you to tell you allll about it!" Shinsou says.
Usually Hitoshi was quiet and annoyed with others, but when you've known him long enough and when he's hopped up on sugar, he can be excited. ".. then say it.." was all Neito said.
His heart felt like it was falling as the stone appears into his stomach once again. The blonde felt sea sick and dizzy. "Wellll-" Hitoshi began but was interrupted by Neito. "Listen, I don't wanna sound mean or rude but, I'm not in the mood right now, I'm tired and I feel like shit.. I'll call you tomorrow Hitoshi.." Was all the blonde said before handing up on the other.
His eyes felt heavy as warm tears rolled down his plump and red cheeks as he cried himself to sleep. He coughed into his hand and revealed red blood and flower petals that fell from his lips. Looking down at the stuff with anger and sadness. He stared at it before wiping it off onto a towel and pretending it didn't exist.

A few hours later Monoma's sound buzzed for the 27th time this morning. ".. what the hell?..." Neito says, his voice raspy. He opened the messages. 'Did I make you mad?' 'I'm sorry!' 'I didn't mean to if I did' 'please answer me!' 'You're probably still asleep.. I'm sorry again. Please text me when you wake up' and mixtures of everything above.
Monoma read through the messages teary eyed as his throat became raw and scratchy. He left Shinsou on read...
Monoma made his way to the bathroom slowly but before he could make it he toppled over into the ground coughing rapidly and harshly. His throat growing irritated as hot and quick streams of tears slid down the boys cheeks at a rapid speed.
His eyes hurt from the salty tears. He's cried so much... too much... Monoma felt like his heart was gonna rip in half.. These damn fucking flowers.
He grew angered as he began to rip up the bloody flowers that he coughed up.
Neito couldn't tell anyone how he felt, how he feels. He was even confused about it himself. Being hard on himself. Telling him things he shouldn't. "You shouldn't feel this way" "it's just jealously." "Your guilt tripping yourself again.." "he's not your responsibility" suddenly Neitos thoughts have cleared.
He started to ignore hitsoshi's messages. Leaving him with nothing but 'read'...