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𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡 :: 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧

Warnings ;
(ANGST), suicide, depression, pills, basically the good sad stuff :,), author vent, part two

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A/N; —PEERCE

;this story needs some backstory. This story is written with how I feel, how I am feeling, how I view things, everything I have been bottling up is here.. a love I will never have, and the guilt that will come with it. The pain and truth that I will never be more than a support character weighs on me, It'll weigh on you as you read. All of the sadness I have felt is here, as a cope. This may pull on the strings on your heart. Please be worn. Thank you

A/N over; —PEERCE

requested part two of ; HANAHAKI :: MONOSHIN by @glaceon101

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Heart and head pounded. the feeling of Monomas heart beat filled his ears like water fills a bucket.
thump
thump
each beat slowly got louder. no sleep, staying up late.. checking in on messages he will never receive, a empty box of nothing. no messages, he felt lonely in this dark room. he hadn't slept for days.
His legs pulled to his chest, the volume of his speaker that sat right next to it blasted his ear drums as he tried desperately to drown the sound. not being able to live peacefully in silence no more he constantly drowned the voices out with music..
my blue girl don't cry..
Gripping his blonde hair tightly, his thoughts kept returning back to his best friend. remembering his smile, remembering how he was no longer there for him.
i'll be with you every night...
His heart on his sleeve, the only problem was each part of his pale skin had red marks that decorated his skin with bloodied stripes.
i won't let you out my sight..
his head pounding, BANG BANG BANG, is all he hears. every sound the beating heart that will no longer be beating for long.
my blue girl don't cry..
he couldn't believe his own thoughts he was having, he shouldn't be treating himself like this..
i'll be with you every night..
he promised that he would be there. that the purple haired male would be here for him. where was he right now?? asleep on a couch at a party, drunk off of his rocker, when Monoma needed him.
i won't let you out of my sight..
monoma's tired eyes looking around the room, dashing to each object that littered the room that hadn't been cleaned in weeks.
please, please wake up..
he couldn't move. his body was heavy, like it was being pulled down. he had no reason to get up anymore. he would never be able to make Shinsou happy. what's the point in going on?
i liked you better when you weren't so cold to the touch..
his thoughts swirl around his head. the music slowly becoming background fuzz to the blonde boy. he'd never make shinsou happy. this is just the price he has to pay. this is what he has done. what he has done to himself... to shinsou..
news papers piling up..
no matter how much Monoma tried. he couldn't tell wether he was annoying the blonde boy or not. getting ignored daily, being left on read.. what was the point? it's not like shinsou would miss him.
this blue girls making head lines..
he's just a side character. Hitoshi wouldnt even notice if monoma went offline and never came back online.
red and blue lights fill the night sky..
it would probably make shinsou happy knowing that Monoma isn't able to bother him anymore. slowly standing up. Monoma took a long and sad stride to the medicine cabinet. unlocking the lock that laid ontop of the mirror. he looked at his reflection.
he's holding her way to right..
tired eyes looked back at him. his throat began to itch. he'd gotten used to the constant pains that came from the boys chest. the stabbing pain each one brought.
he's never been, he's never been very good at good byes..
a grunt came from him as he rushed to the toilet bowl and puked up the familiar mixture of blood and petals that laid afloat in the clear water. walking back over to the mirror. thoughts surround him.
he whispers something in her ear..
he'll never be enough... a click of the lock opening up on the mirror was heard.
it's kinda hard to hear...
he can't make anyone happy... the sound of rustling through the piles were heard.
my blue girl don't cry...
he's useless... pulling out the perfect pill bottle, he'll have 20 minutes before everything's over.
i'll be with you every night...
fucking idiot... the sound of the click as the bottle opened up.
i won't let you out my sight...
one pill, two pill, three pill, four.. they kept coming. over and over. the repeating cycle of swallowing the pink pills out of the orange bottle that contained them all.
my blue girl don't cry...
a beep was heard from his phone.
i'll be with you every night...
he looked over at the bright screen.
i won't let you out my sight...
big text was displayed on the screen.
now this blue girl starts crying...
"i love you." was all the message said before Monoma felt dizzy. his body wasn't able to type the message back to the purple boy.
she's silent...
"you're my everyth"

now this blue girl can't smile...
...anymore...