ISOLATION

1.

Today I fled to the forest in a desperate attempt to find salvation. After spending a week subdued in a state of wallowing self-pity, I forced myself up. At noon, I rolled out of bed and proceeded to get dressed. My hair was left in a low ponytail, and my face was left without the mask of makeup. Before I departed, I grabbed some essentials: my phone, my keys and a water bottle. I was home alone so there was no one for me to say "goodbye" to. I left and drove thirty minutes out into the countryside. There are numerous different trails out here but I ended up at the one semi-familiar to me. It has been years since I've actually walked along it. This time I want to go somewhere I haven't been before. I feel my life is tedious and I crave something new.

There is still a mile of beaten path ahead of me. It stretches out in a straight line before ending at the forests entryway. While walking along this path I enjoy the rush of escaping. With the sun's heat blaring down on me, I stretch out my arms and my fingers, feeling the refreshing wind wisp through the negative spaces. I let out an auditory breath. It hums harmoniously with the sounds of the trees. I finally reach the forest entrance. The sharp fields of grass spread out vastly behind me. Every tall strand bends freely with no fears of mankind breaking it. An immaculate, fair blue sky stretches above me unveiling a sort of peace to enlighten the darkness that has recently taken over my life. Earth's back drop takes its time transitioning from midday to shades of night. Its leisurely pace reassures me that time is no longer a concern.

Just before I dive down the pathway shrouded by trees and other shrubbery, I see something out of the corner of my eye. For a brief moment I stop and I look. Far beyond my line of sight I can see a large figure of a person. Distance keeps their identity a mystery, but whilst observing them I notice they are almost abnormally large as if looking through a car's rear-view mirror. When comparing their proportions to the distance between us: it doesn't make sense? But it's not enough to further intrigue me. It's just a person standing on one of these other trails. The presence of a stranger in a place uninhabited by civilization just reminds me of how small the world can be and how difficult it can be to getaway. I avoid them. I turn away and they too disappear into the tree line.

Now I'm drowning, no, I'm swimming in a sea of trees. There is no suffering here. The trees rock swiftly in the lucid flow of the air. My presence has little to no effect on them. My fingertips gently brush the leaves as I maneuver between them. Now I enter a world outside my own. I touch: dead leaves, soft green leaves, and thin twisted branches. My feet do not allow evidence of my arrival. I walk carefully since the terrain is rough. Rocks are scattered on the narrow path. The forest is all overgrown as if it doesn't want me here. It makes prospering here difficult. The further I go, I'm met with little challenges. Now other signs of life are aware of my presence. Insects: one of nature's most ruthless guardians, fly in close proximity to my face. Some even bite me. The bugs attempt to ware me out, but I keep going. I understand that's a part of the privilege being here: a place not made for me. I'll embrace every feeling this temporary freedom brings me. The occasional sting only makes me more attentive to my surroundings. I won't miss a thing.

A strong gust of wind ruffles up the treetops. And the trees whisper about me. every now and then, smaller animals emerge from their hiding spots. birds quickly swoop through the gaps in the canopy. lizards hurdle over the rocks and debris. It seems the smaller animals are braver than the larger ones who remain hidden. Or maybe I'm just not worthy of their time. As I dive deeper into this world, the forest becomes more open. Spaces grow between branches. Now I can truly see how vast it is. There are no patterns to be found. Surrounding me is the embodiment of chaotic nature and it's beautiful. But as colorful and as magnificent as it is, it feels bigger than me. I become smaller, but not insignificant. There is a strange sense of peace upon me and all of my problems shrink along with the world they originate from. Now the insects flying around me and the sticks reaching out to scratch me: are no longer against me. The forest no longer challenges me but accepts me. And I just enjoy it.

The solid ground begins to sink below a swampy terrain. A layer of mud bubbles over the gravel and dirt. New signs of life appear with it: dragonflies fly abundantly from lily pad to tree stumps, spiders hug onto their webs. A single frog jumps through my line of sight. I decide to stop at this edge of land and water. But my mind floats on. My eyes glaze over as I zone out for a bit. I watch the film reel of memories flash through my mind. It's always the same visions.

"Ugh-can I just move on already." My voice triggers a portion of the forest to wake up. I can hear the crunching of fallen leaves. I blink again. Something moving in front of me yanks me back to reality. A cropped out piece of the forest is flexing. And then it becomes a figure of monotone colors. The movement is growing. It shapes into a person. They're suddenly so close to me I can feel their shadow de-saturate my eyes. With very quick and initiative movements, they hobble closer to me. Their movements are forceful, but unbalanced. Sharp snapping noises following each one. I realize it's their bones cracking, as if their joints haven't budged in decades. With stunned eyes, I look up at their face. It's a woman. Her black hair trickles down her elongated head. The strains are dry and coiled like the array of dead twigs surrounding her. My imagination constitutes her to be a witch, but then I see her face.

Her face.

It's hard to look at her face. With no real expression it lingers towards mine. Her face is perfect. It's indescribably perfect. Beyond perfect, I cannot bare looking at it. It's unsettling. In fact I hate it. It doesn't belong to the rest of her. Now the once peaceful forest is the background to this strange individual. She is all I see. In a matter of seconds my watering eyes look down. Because of how suddenly unbearable the sight is, I cannot look anymore. My eyes stay down.

Her body is hidden beneath layers of outdated, tattered clothing. Clothes: that appears like they have been washed too many times and then left in the dryer for years. It's disturbing, seeing the way her porcelain feet shuffle just below the bottom of the fabric. Her toes dig into the mud. The entirety of the atmosphere surrounding us is consumed by dread. The lady's presence is heavy. It weighs me down. Now it truly feels as if I'm drowning.

"Hello." her perfect voice calls out to me.

My body shuts down the moment I look back up at her eyes. She blinks oddly slow. A tiny gap separates her lips. She says nothing more and agonizing silence follows. I feel tears forming in my eyes. I collapse into the mud. She doesn't hesitate to quickly stand over me. Her expressionless face is now drastically closer to mine. Each one of her legs plants themselves on either side of mine. The only parts to touch me are the edges of loose clothing. There could be hundreds of different tiny insects crawling up and down my legs and none will ever be as grotesque as the tickling feeling coming from her touch.

Her large torso bends over. Her face coming closer and her movements are so menacing; running away is no longer an option. I sink into the mud. My heart sinks even further. She's staring at me. With unpredictable intent, she just stares at me. "h-hello?" My voice croaks just above a whisper. As if she's been set into fast-forward, she abruptly stands up straight. She starts jolting her stiff limbs around in a distorted way, a way that is short and quick. Her eyes never move, but her head moves disorderly. It's as if she didn't know it was me who spoke to her. Mud splashes as I push against my heels in an attempt to get away. As I force myself off the ground and stumble to find balance, our eyes meet again. It feels like what little life I felt today was taken away.

( All illustrations are created by me: Do Not repost them without credibility )