ISOLATION

9.

Sleep deprivation is catching up to me. I suffer from loss of balance after standing up too fast. The black specks buzzing over my eyes causes me to lose my sense of sight. My right hand quickly grabs the bathroom door knob. I shift all my body weight forward so I can quickly disappear inside. It has been awhile since I looked at myself in the mirror. Ever since that nightmare, my eyes avoid my reflection. A voice in my head tells me to look up and of course I appear as bad as I feel. My bottom eyelids are heavy and hang low. It's noticeable how disorientated I feel. Regardless, today the three of us are going to the show. David is performing later tonight, but first we have to go back to the house to pick up a few things. David has been an entertainer at the theme park for as long as I've known him. Seeing him perform has always been one of my favorite things to do. I hope I can enjoy it like I once did. Working at the same park but under a different department, Johnny has been hyping up the idea of going tonight. I'm aware this is something I need to force myself to go to, but I'm vacant. It took me a lot of convincing just to stop by the house. I remember my delusion. I know this progressing paranoia will become dangerous if I don't keep myself busy. And maybe, just maybe this microscopic piece of me wants to go back to the house because I want to believe everything is normal. The tedious life I rejected so much: I now realize is the only thing I really want. That desire will repress this fear constantly building within me.

My body gradually wakes up even more as I walk from the bathroom to the car parked outside. I sat down and instantly felt fatigued again. I doze off during the drive to our house. I try to keep my mind occupied with the possibilities of tonight and how fun it could be. My eyes open up to our driveway: Dread draping over the entire place. It's cursed by the heavy presence of that woman. This time it's her stench. It fills the air like a poisonous mist. Her perfect face probably hangs between the curtains in the front window. She's watching us or she's hiding. Her voice whispers to me as the trees blow whimsically like they did the first time I saw her. In the safest space in my bedroom, she awaits for me there. These thoughts keep me from walking through the front door. "David, I-I don't think I can go in." I confess.

David nervously walks inside. Still being a little spooked, he carefully looks around before coming back to me. "It's fine- it's fine, I'll investigate some more just in case-" He playfully reaches his empty hand out to me. "Be my backup?" He smirks. Seeing how he can even manage to smile right now, I suddenly feel guilty for treating him poorly. So, I go along with it. I take his hand and stay close behind him while we investigate the house. David also shows me the new lock he is having put onto the back door. Nothing has been tattered with or ambushed. Everything is just as we left it. "Alright!" David lets out a sigh of relief. "Now we gotta be at the park by five so I think we should-" His voice follows him into the bedroom while I stay out in the living room. My eyes: zoning out over the old empty bowl of ice cream left in the sink. "-Let's leave soon, I kind of want to get there early- and Johnny said we can drop our stuff off at his place before- since we gotta stay there another night. I couldn't schedule the locksmith guy to come in today but to-" The sound of his voice echoes throughout the house but floats to the back of my mind.

I spend my time waiting in the living room while David finishes packing up our things. Johnny messages me about tonight. It's supposed to be cold so he told me to dress warm. It's nice lying on the couch alone. The sunlight gives the interior a natural glow. I force my mind to cease production of any thoughts as I stare blankly at the ceiling. Miraculously, I find comfort in the nothingness consuming my entire self. Throughout the past couple of days I have felt every justifiable and unjustifiable negative emotion; guilt, fear, and sorrow. To feel nothing again, now is a relief. I escape into the vacant part of my mind and release all the tension in my muscles. Only letting brief simplistic thoughts about the present slip in and out of my mind: like how the ac system clicks on and briefly rattles before circulation. A cool breeze softens my skin.

Of course this doesn't last very long. The moment is interrupted by David announcing, "I'm ready to go- just gotta use the bathroom real quick!" Eager to get out of this place I start getting up. Another message from Johnny lights up my phone. Something smells grotesque...

...She appears like the shadow of a mannequin slowly sliding out of the darkness and surfacing the hallway. The details of her porcelain, elongated figure is faded, but she wears the same blue dress. It's more crinkled now like the edges of her hair and fingernails. Her arms lock straight. With the movement of a crippling puppet, she extends her lengthy straining fingers to flare out. Her body falls to this crouching position. I watch in horror as she crawls forward, stiff like a cricket creeping up a log. Her knees stick out of her dress. Despite how messy the rest of her is, her skin is ceramic white. She inches forwards on her finger tips. The way she performs the strangest most abnormal mannerisms with diligence, it's as if she thrives off the fact that she is completely and utterly insane.

The most unsettling thing is the way she hovers her head over the wood floor. It moves around like it's isolated from the rest of her body. It looks too large and too heavy to balance on a body as sprawled out and scrawny as hers. This toxic stench puts me in a trance. Is she even real?

Her fingernails impatiently tap the wood floors: tap-tap-tap. I know a part of me will forever be confined reliving this exact moment. Louder the sound becomes: Tap-Tap-Tap. Fear is unrelenting. Her nails ripple over the floor.

I snap out of it when my phone goes off again. As soon as I reach out to answer my phone, she stands up. "No-no-no" Her voice is so soft but monotone. It's borderline inhuman, but not completely unnatural like a simulation. "No-no-no-no-no" She finishes, but I can still hear it like an irritating buzzing in my ear. "No-no-no" Desperately looking for a way out, I'm cornered into the couch. She flinches forward. It startles me but then she freezes again. The woman tilts her head up. Her eyes blink leisurely: one after the other.

"What are you?" I croak.

She bolts. Adrenaline throws myself over the back of the couch. While stumbling to get away, I grab whatever is closest to me. in a tight fist, my hand wraps around a lamp. The woman still carelessly runs directly towards me. It's almost as if she wants me to hit her...and I do. I shatter the base of the lamp over her head with as much force as my weak body can muster. Without taking a second to look at the damage I have caused, I book it down the hall. "David!" I scream while running to find him.