SURE AS SIN I FLYNN CARSEN

Pigs And Dragons

Pigs And Dragons

Now I know how Joan of Arc felt
As the flames rose to her Roman nose
And her Walkman started to melt...

"Let the Intercession of Dragons commence," the stranger bellowed, raising his palms, making the furniture levitate from the floor, a strange wind picking up, nearly knocking everyone off their feet.

"Mr. Drake, then," Clara yelled above the din.

"Yep," Flynn yelled back, holding onto the door handle for dear life.

Mr. Drake lowered his hands, puffing out his chest instead.

"He's a dragon in a man costume?" Cassandra said in a loud aside to Jenkins.

"He is a lawyer," Jenkins said deadpan.

"I represent the Fei Lung," Mr. Drake intoned, striding around the room, "Western pigs have stolen the mystic pearl of the Fei Lung" -

- "So there's pigs and dragons," Ezekiel interrupted. "Great!"

"The Arbiter's words are now on record," Mr. Drake droned, "pigs and dragons are great!"

"He doesn't" - Flynn began, only for Mr. Drake to dash his hand aside.

"You do not speak for the Library," Mr. Drake snapped.

"Here, hold up," Eve exclaimed, only for Mr. Drake to round on her.

"You do not speak for the Library!" he boomed. "Only the Arbiter can speak for the Library," he continued, advancing on Ezekiel.

"What about me?" Clara said nervously, stepping forwards, ignoring Flynn's frantic signalling to shut up.

"Beauty stands apart," Mr. Drake said, bowing to her.

"So can I speak for the Library?" Clara asked hesitantly.

"Beauty stands alone," Mr. Drake replied, making her pale. He turned to Ezekiel instead, so they were practically nose to nose, Ezekiel swallowing hard, feeling not a little intimidated. "If the pearl isn't returned by tomorrow's sunset," he said from between gritted teeth, "I cannot withhold the fury of Fei Lung."

"That's why we're going to get that pearl back into your hands ASAP," Flynn drawled like a second-hand car salesman, making Mr. Drake slowly turn around, "and yes, I do not speak for the Library," Flynn finished for him, only to be distracted by Jenkins wildly windmilling his hands through the air. Flynn frowned, Jenkins pointing at himself then Ezekiel, the message finally percolating through Flynn's skull. "Ah, Arbiter," he said, rounding on Ezekiel, "have you selected your counsel yet for the Intercession?"

Ezekiel just looked at him blankly. "The what?" he said, brow furrowing.

"The counsel," Clara hastily prompted, picking up her cue, jerking her head at Jenkins.

Ezekiel just continued to stare blankly at them, forcing Flynn and Clara into doing Jenkins impersonations, frantically miming smoothing back their hair and looking self-important. But this did nothing but confuse Ezekiel further until Jenkins gestured to himself, grimacing in a parody of his usual political smile. "You mean Jenkins?" he said, looking taken aback at Jenkins's grotesque face pulling.

"Ah, yes, thank you," Jenkins said stiffly, quickly stepping forwards, "I gladly accept the honour of Intercession Conciliatory for the Arbiter of the Library."

"Arbiter, we will begin the list of grievances" - Mr. Drake flipped open an old fashioned fob-watch, "in eight minutes." He stalked away, leaving everyone at a loss for words, Jacob letting out a low whistle.

"Well," Flynn said, recovering himself, "let's say the Arbiter and the Conciliatory," he gestured to Ezekiel and Jenkins, "stay here with Mr. Drake, while the rest of us reconvene in some discreet corner."