𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘 || 𝕷𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔 𝕹𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖘

TWO

ɢᴀʙʀɪᴇʟᴀ

I sat amongst the what felt like millions of papers, staring blankly at the screen of my laptop, which was full of black text. I felt so uninspired when Lando was away, like apart of me was missing. It didn't help i no longer had Tommy or Han around the flat, making some sort of noise so it wasn't completely silent. I'd tried working with music on, but every time i just got distracted from my essay.

Tommy had left me 5 weeks prior, he was going to do an internship with Ferrari now we'd finished college, Han had been staying here throughout the summer but left a week ago, My flat here felt empty. It was a last minute decision to apply for the University of Surrey, i'd decided to do it so i could be closer to Lando, as the campus was in the town centre of Guildford. I completely under estimated how often he would be away, i thought whenever a race wasn't on, he'd be home, even though i should have known i was kidding myself. He was often away at training camps, or away for days at a time to use different simulators. I understood work consumed his life, and i completely supported him with everything he did, only i couldn't help feeling second best to his job, even though he is forever telling me i'm his number one.

I sometimes find myself comparing my life to his, he was only 1 year older then me, yet he had achieved so much more. I had 6 GCSEs and 3 A-levels, and my boyfriend is already a past F3 champion, and is driving for a very high status team in F1. I knew everything that happens, happens for a reason, and that fate knows what it is doing, so i often find myself not worrying about what is happening in the media and around Uni, however, one thing i forever worry about is Lando finding someone much more pretty, or smart, or famous than me, and going off with them.

The clock on my laptop turned to half past 6. I shivered, knowing that tomorrow at 10, the essay that was currently only half written was due in. My vision blurred over as i tried to think of everything and anything knew about the topic, which was about promoting health and well being. I looked towards the big clock on my wall and sighed heavily. Lando would be home from anywhere between lunch and tea tomorrow, but until then i was stuck alone.

The fear of being alone was something i had developed from a young age, i'd researched into it once for my Psychology GCSE, it was known as monophobia. It was an awful feeling when i was in that flat by myself, my thoughts running wild, my head all over the place. When Lando was around, he helped snap me back into reality, but the second he left me alone with my mind again, i became the definition of unstable.

I looked up at the clock again. It was now 8. It would be 10 in Bahrain, and Lando would most likely now be settling down for bed, i didn't want to disturb him, so i didn't call him. Han would probably be asleep, choosing to go to bed earlier now she was at University, so she could wake up for her earlier lectures. It would be 9 in Italy, and Tommy would be out drinking and having a good time with his new colleagues, he truly was living his dream life. I sometimes didn't know how he managed, he had such a boisterous, cocky personality, yet everyone seemed to love him. He really didn't care what anyone thought, and for that i envied him.

In the end, i chose to ring Tommy, thinking of him as the most likely to pick up out of the three. I counted the rings in my head. one.. two.. three..

"Heya Gabs, now how can i help ya on this fine evening" he slurred, quite clearly drunk, i smiled at his manner, knowing he was enjoying himself

"can you stay on the phone to me?" i asked "i need someone to talk to whilst i finish this essay"

"isn't Han alive or something?"he joked back "this is her area of expertise"

"ugh tommo please just for like 20 minutes, if i work hard thats all it should take" i begged

"fine, i'll give you half an hour.. but i expect to see you at Singapore" he agreed

"of course, i wouldn't miss my favourite race, or an opportunity to see my favourite people" i laughed, suddenly finding it much easier to finish the essay.

**

I eventually finished at around 9, which was almost perfect timing, as my eyelids were beginning to droop. I tidied away all of the papers and climbed into my bed, Looking forward to my dreams..

ʟᴀɴᴅᴏ

I couldn't focus on training all day. Every time my mind began to think of something other then Gabi, something else would remind me of her. Like a clock. She had such an obsession with punctuality, yet for some reason still almost always managed to be late. She hated that, but i found it cute, she'd always leave perfectly on time, but then forget something an have to run back. Or she'd get caught up in traffic, and she'd scream and she'd swear at the vehicles in front until she could resume her journey.

Another thing she often did was ramble on about go knows what. She couldn't stand silence, so if no one was talking, she'd fill it with random thoughts. I remember many times when she was in college when she'd ring me just because no-one she liked was in her lessons, but the whole room was silent, so she would go on and on about anything and everything, like once, she was in Biology and she was doing about Food security or something, and she looked out of the window, and oh that was it, she spoke to me about trees for the rest of the time she was in that lesson, and throughout the whole of her study period, and whilst she was in Wetherspoons, waiting for Hannah to join her. I found it adorable that one tree could be made into such a long debate about all the different types of trees, and how the leaves look when they fell to the floor, and how she felt that not enough people were doing things to save the trees from being cut down. I agreed with everything she was telling me whilst i was driving on the sim, I remember that day so well because every time i started a race, i'd finish it with a new personal best. I think it was her voice, it just helped me focus.

Now, im laid in bed and all that was really on my mind once again was Gabi. Half of me was expecting her to ring, begin complaining about her essay which was due, or how someone was talking throughout her lecture. I didn't mind what she was talking about really, just the sound of her voice was enough. Enough to know that she was still there, she wasn't leaving.

Losing her was my biggest fear.

  ⇚ ☨ ⇛
this chapter oh my days my mum
read it whilst I went to get my
drink and she cried and
I'm not too sure why but this is 1 reason
why we stan Julie :)
*update Julie was a little drunk*
-remember to eat properly-
sascha xx