Friends [𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈]

{39}

my thoughts came to an abrupt stop as i heard knocking on my front door i got up from the couch and opened the doo seeing the "gang" i let them in seeing gazzy all bruised up i sat down on my wood table

"listen we're all gon say a secret that we have no judging nothing we finna find a way to fix this shit right here right now" micheal said

"gazzy go first"

he nodded

"my dad beats me"

"i worship the devil"

"i'm a drug addict"

"uhh, me and rakim had sex"

i looked up from the ground to look at travis then looked back down

"i don't have a secret" stokeley spat

micheal just rolled his eyes and moved on

"i lost my mom, it's not necessarily a secret but it's something"

"i'm depressed and still in love with stokeley"

micheal looked "okay so, first things first travis and rakim"

they both looked at micheal

"are you guys sexually attracted to each other"

"no duh" rakim said looking back at the floor

"well i suggest trying to date not travis and see how that works out"

"next jahseh"

"you need to move on, from stokes okay"

"it's hard, i've tried, it's not easy, i crave love yet i don't ever get any, there's one person and thing i want yet i can't have either"

"jahseh i know its hard but please at least try"

"you're not very good at fixing things"

he sighed

"now gazzy"

"i suggest you stay, at one of our houses and try to stay away from your father"

he nodded

"now jamell"

"stop doing drugs"

i sighed

"this was no help you had us tell us our secrets to not fix them"

"i'm going to my room, rakim and travis don't fuck on my couch use the guest room" i said as, i walked up the stairs

i went in my room and pulled out my notebook and started writing

i'm tired of love being the reason i feel pain...

i heard my door open my head darting towards the door it was stokeley

he walked over to my bed and sat down

"come sit with me"  he said

i sat in my desk chair for a while and then got up sitting next to him

"you know i love you right"

"you do?"

"yeah"

"i love you too"

he smiled softly

"jahseh i don't love you"

my face turned into a frown

"i have a boyfriend, no matter how much you want me i'll never love you again"

and those words ringed in my head

i'll never love you again

he left my room and i started crying

"FUCK!" i yelled as i punched the wall making a hole in it my hand was bleeding i went downstairs everyone looking at me i went to the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife i had and started walking back up the stairs

"jahseh what the fuck are you doing" i ignored symeres comment

"oh no he finna try some hoe shit" somebody yelled

i went into my bathroom locking the door

"i should've did this a long time ago"