What am i?

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It shouldn't have been anything more than a kiss in a stupid smooch or share game in the teachers lounge. In fact it wasn't anything more than that. Jay was forced to do it because he didn't want to get burned! It was only logical that he'd kiss Matthew to save himself the pain of hot teacher coffee!

What happened in the gym though was another story..there was no excuse for what jay did. He made out with Matthew again because he wanted to! There was no pressure or anything to force him to do it. Just the way Matthew talked and how cute and vulnerable he looked while saying that jay was his first kiss. He couldn't help himself. He also couldn't help the way it made his stomach flip and his heart flutter.

This made no sense, he was as straight as a board! But then what was that with Matthew..why did he make him feel this way? And he shouldn't have like the kiss either. But he did. Oh boy did he ever like the kiss. It was different than the kiss with Jessie. It had made his mind go numb and a smile go on his face and he didn't know what was going on with him.

He was so confused and he had no one to go to! If he looked it up on his computer his bothers might find out and their teasing and beating would only get worse knowing how homophobic they were..and like hell if their mom would care enough to stop them.

He could always ask Jessie, nick, or Andrew! But if they tell someone then it would get around and he wasn't ready for that. I mean look what happened to Gina when nick told Jessie and Andrew.

Matthew was already out of the question since he was the whole reason why he was confused. Besides he might make him even more confused than he already was knowing him and his sarcastic nature, and smart words.

He didn't even have a hormone monster of his own to talk to seeing that he was horny enough to not have one.

His pillows, he found out were only a part of his brain and not actually real and sentient. They were to compensate his loneliness and to have someone to talk to.

He's never felt more alone and scared until this point. He questions, but had no one to ask them to and get the answers. He knew he liked girls still but now he might like guys too? He doesn't know what's going on and needed to ask someone..then someone came to mind.
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When jay went to school the next day but arrived a half hour early to get their before Matthew or any of his friends were there.
He got inside and went to the gym room and wasn't surprised to already see coach Steve there setting up for the next P.E class they had that day.
He took a deep breath before going to him and cleared his thought to get his attention. Which thankfully worked as coach Steve looked at him smiling and waved at him excitedly like a little kid.
"Hey dude what's up? Why you hear so early?"
"I-I just had some questions and I d-don't know who else to ask.." Jay said shifting side to side a bit.
He then let out a gasp. "Is it cause I'm your best friend!!?"
"Well kind of? But also because I know you won't judge me or tell anyone."
"Oh of course I won't if it's that serious to you! So go on and tell me!"

Jay then took a deep breath "well yesterday night at the sleep over i...I made out with Matthew...twice..and I really liked it with him! But I still know also like girls! But I don't know what I am! I never heard of someone who likes guys and girls and I was wondering if..you would know or help me?" After jay said that he closed his eyes while looking down nervous of his reaction.

"Well, sounds to me that you're bisexual" coach Steve said with that same carefree tone.

"Bisexual?" He didn't know what that was and was just as confused as ever with that term.

"Well yeah! It means you like both guys and girls! You're in between and that's ok!" Jay was then enveloped in a bone crushing hug, which he assumed Steve did that because he was still tense.

"Well that...kind of explained one thing but why did I realize it while kissing Matthew? It couldn't have just been because he was a good kisser right? I mean Jessie didn't like me after I kissed her and she said she liked it.." jay started to question this now because he was sure he didn't like Matthew before this but after that kiss...he didn't know what to feel and now knowing he was bi was something he needed to accept was too much for him to handle.

By this point the hug had ended.

"Well maybe you like him or something? And you only realized it after kissing him?"

"Maybe..but I don't know? I never really liked Matthew before all of this but now I can't get him off my mind! I keep thinking of his eyes, I keep reliving the kiss and I blush whenever I do and I don't know why I suddenly just like him like this now!"

"Maybe you've always liked him but you keep denying it because it would make you different from your friends by liking boys?"

Jay looked at Steve jaw dropped as he looked at him when he realized that Steve was right. Matthew always caught his eye, he always found his snarky remarks quite funny, he was always kind of cute to him. But he thought that was something everyone felt around Matthew.

"By your expression I'm guessing I'm right? Well try to talk to him later then ok? Talk about last night and what it meant to him."

Jay just nodded with a now forming smile "o-ok coach Steve! Thank you so much!" He said as he ran off with his back pack to his locker. He finally know what he was and what was going on!

He couldn't wait to find Matthew now not even considering rejection. Although now he had a whole 25 minutes to kill while he waited and he didn't exactly want to go home..so he stayed at school waiting for everyone to arrive.

Authors note:so how do you guys like my first ever big mouth/ jay x Matthew chapter? I've always wanted to write one but never got inspiration since there aren't a lot of fanfics and fan art to get inspired from. But all of them are amazing and I recommend you check them out! Also I know that coach Steve is really out of character and that there isn't a lot of jay x Matthew and that jay actually has a different way of finding out in the show that he's bi. But I thought this would be a better way to do it so sorry if it isn't the best.But yeah make sure to leave comments and I'll try to update soon!

Byeeeeee~

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