Chronicles of a Teenage Christian

2. I Don't Enjoy Church

I didn’t go to church at all growing up, my mum is a believer but she never saw any good in the churches local to us so she stopped going. Watching Tyler Perry movies gave me such an enthusiastic picture of what church should be like. I imagined an awesome choir that would make me have goosebumps and a preacher with no chill who still manages to make sense. I imagined having a good group of friends and elders in the church that encouraged and adored me. I thought I found that when I was introduced to a church almost 3 years ago but that was all a facade.

Don’t get me wrong, the church is where I first ever discovered Christ and without it I wouldn’t even be writing this today but there are flaws that just put me off attending.

First of all I feel like church should be a place full of love, support and devotion. One thing it should not be is a business and that’s what I see in a lot of churches nowadays. Why does the son of the head of a church drive a brand new 2014 plate BMW at the age of 18 when his father’s day job is being a pastor? Just because they're a pastor it doesn’t mean they should be starving, neither does it mean they can’t have luxury but it becomes a problem when they refuse to fund simple youth projects due to ‘lack of funds’.

Why are the youths being reprimanded for the clothes they wear? I can understand if a girl comes to church with 6 inch heels, booty shorts and a bandeau but that’s not even the case. Dressing appropriately is important and a lot of people would argue the ‘God looks at the heart’ statement. While I agree with that, the statement is often misused (I’ll talk about this later on when I address clothing). However, telling someone dressed in decent clothes that they can’t come to church dressed as such is unacceptable. Now, instead of focusing on the Lord, that person is constantly cautious of what people think about what they’re wearing. Eventually, that person will leave the church and return their old ways with a flawed image of Christianity. See how easy it is to turn people away from God?

Why is it when someone commits fornication for example, they are forced to sit at the back of the church even though they were brave enough to confide in their pastor. Doesn’t that tell them that the person wants to change and needs help from a brother/sister in Christ to overcome this? Instead it becomes the gossip of the church and that moves me onto my next point...

Gossip. It’s probably one of the top 3 things wrong with churches of today. “Did you hear she used to be a whore” “She got pregnant out of wedlock, why is she in church disgracing the name of Jesus?” “Oh him? He used to be in a gang, I wouldn’t go near him.” One thing I dislike is talking bad about someone instead of talking to them about it in person. I will put my hands up and say I was guilty of this and still do it sometimes but I’m praying to stop because it’s not a nice thing at all, especially when you’re the victim.

Church can often feel lonely too. I don’t know if it’s any different at other churches but I never felt a sense of belonging at my church. There’s were only 2 people excluding my best friend that I grew close to at church and both of them left so I felt alone. Everyone in that church grew up together so were like their own little family already. At first they were welcoming and very warm but then afterwards I began to feel closed out. I’ve been told church is a place to worship God, not to make friends but that’s not entirely true. Church is a place people go to worship God together, if it was meant to be done independently then I may as well sit my ass down at home and do it.

The last thing I’m going to mention is the lack of direction that church gives to the youth. When I started off I knew zilch on how to pray or how to read my bible, I was clueless. I’m going to be lenient and say about 70% of the things I know about God, I learned independently. Sometimes people tell you what not to do instead of what to do and that makes you feel like you’re doing everything wrong. I agree, we need to be told what we shouldn’t do also but a good reason why would make it a lot easier to convince us not to do it. You can tell me 1000 times that smoking is bad but never explain that it increases my chance of developing lung cancer and I’ll never attempt to quit. Do you think if smoking had no effect that people would give it up? If that was the case I would’ve tried it by now...

There’s a lot more I could mention and I may do a part 2 on this later one but this is what I have on my chest for now. Its churches like the ones I’ve described that send young people like us running miles from church and therefore miles away from God. I wish I could wake up excited on a Sunday morning for church and it’s a real shame that a lot of young people like us genuinely grow up in church not knowing who God is at all.  

For me to say everything about churches are bad and all churches are bad is a lie. I do think that the church is a great place for anybody newly seeking God to go and meet people similarly to you who will encourage you. I pray that God will lead me to the type of church I’ll feel welcomed and happy at. For now, I’m going to go on this journey by myself, just me and God. It’s going to be hard not having anybody to relate to or encourage me when times get really tough but I’ll push on.

Name an experience you’ve had at church, good or bad. Do you have anything else to add to what I've said? Do you agree or disagree with my points? Share your thoughts with me everyone :)