Addicted To You | NCT Gang AU ✔️

Chapter 21

Lee Minyoung

Today's the day, the day I finally say goodbye to my long-time friend. It'll be hard and painful, a few of our enemies will be around but I made the guys promise not to start any fights, not here. I still haven't properly accepted that he's gone yet, it just doesn't feel like it. Maybe it's because I never visited or saw him; it's just a lot to take in.

Suho gave me responsibility for organising the funeral, not because he wanted to, but because I forced him too. Well, emotionally abused, I guess. I don't really know what to call it, 'you killed him, he loved me, fuck you and let me organise it.' I'd never contact Suho in any other given circumstance, he doesn't deserve my attention, he doesn't deserve anyone's attention. He's sick in the head, so sick that it makes me want to throw up. I know that he didn't mean to kill Chanyeol, but he told me a lot about what Suho did to the gang emotionally and physically.

The time's come, I've prepared all that's needed to be prepared, I remember the time he told me that he wanted lots of cupcakes at his funeral. Of course, back then I didn't take it seriously, who would? He said that at least people will enjoy one thing at his funeral, he was always so selfless, even with things like this. Will his death really change this damned society or was it all for nothing? I hate EXO for what they did, they treated him and each other like shit, which is why they can't ever beat us. We have a family here who care for each other, they only care about personal gain. So selfish.

Looking around, everyone seems so depressed as if they really cared, they're only here for their selfish reasons, like an appearance. Out of all of EXO, Kyungsoo is the only one who is taking it really badly, he fainted like twice and is still bawling his eyes out. I'd mention Sehun as well, except he left EXO for good and is going solo, he wasn't as dramatic as Kyungsoo, but he probably didn't take it 'well.' It's a shame he didn't get to come, I heard the two were quite close. Honestly, I don't remember seeing him in the EXO mansion, how strange. Suho's wearing shades, it didn't hide his tears though, I could sense his 'silent' sobs from a mile away. I'm still confused about who I should blame, myself, Suho or Chanyeol himself?

The whole service for his funeral dragged, why wouldn't it? Funerals aren't supposed to be fun and his certainly was not. It took a while for me to accept that he was going to be buried and gone forever. It's a lot to take in, but I'll get over it, one day. I watched him lower into the ground and every single grain of soil cover his casket. The tears were out of my control, but well-needed. I'm sure that everyone in EXO knows that the Minyoung tattoo on his neck wasn't his grandma's name, but I'm fine with them knowing.

Staying in the EXO mansion was probably the worst thing I have ever endured, they tortured me day-in and day-out. Chanyeol was the only one who cared for me and treated me like a human, he'd take the other's shifts when it came to torturing me and instead fixed my broken wounds. But one wound he could not fix was what Suho did to me, it was only a few nights before I left and because of it, I wasn't able to sleep comfortably with Doyoung. When I saw the casket finally drop down, I tried my best to let what happened be forgotten, I can't let Suho ruin my relationship with Doyoung, he's done enough.

After 3 long weeks, I finally could sleep and in the comfort of Doyoung's arms. It's been a while since the last time I cuddled with him and boy have I missed it. His warmth means the world to me and having it back is beyond satisfying, after a while, I was first to talk. "Doyoung?"

"Hmmm,"

"Oh, are you tired? We'll talk tomorrow then,"

"N-no, it's fine. What's on your mind?" He asked whilst getting up and facing me.

"Are you disappointed in me?"

"Why would I be disappointed in you?"

"Because I didn't tell you about Chanyeol," his eyes almost instantly softened and with a smile on his face, he replied, "No, I'm not. I was at first, but then I realised that I'd rather have you like someone in the past then continue to like him now. I know how you feel about me and I feel the same, if not, even more towards you. I love you so much Minyoungah and nothing can change that, what happened in the past stays in the past." I couldn't help but cry, his words were so sweet and he deserved so much more than me, pathetic me. "You deserve so much better than me, I'm a disgrace."