I stare into his diluting pupils, a wave of relief... satisfaction, washing through me as I watch the life slowly drain from his eyes.
Dying...
I feel a smirk spread across my face as I hear his thin and final breath- slipping from his lips into nothingness.
Dead.
His now lifeless face has already paled, the blush pink colour from his lips and cheeks from merely an hour ago, faded away along with his life.
His eyes stare into mine- well, not into me, more so through me as I realise my hands are still gripped around his neck.
Those are my favourite kinds of kills, full contact. The more... personal ones.
It gives me the sense that I know them- this way I can feel their life slip away from their very reach. I can feel their hands, clawing at me as they struggle under my grasp.
It makes me feel alive.
Like there's something inside of me, instead of this hollow shell. With no purpose. No happiness. But now, I have a purpose. This is my purpose.
I drop the body onto the floor, stretching my cramped fingers out at my sides, taking a huge breath of icy air, letting it flood my lungs.
I should probably slide his eyes closed at least, but the adrenaline pumping through me, making the chilling air all the more crisp, is shocking through me like bolts of electricity- giving me too much excitement for decency.
It's about to start. I can feel it inside of me.
My lungs are heaving- not because I'm sprinting through the streets, leaving the body far behind- but because this... rush. This excitement surging through me is making my breath jagged and my heart thrash against my rib cage.
This. It's this feeling that I live for. Nothing else.
I turn into an alley way, dropping to my knees when I hear a voice, a giggle- ringing through my head.
This is it! It's working!
Before I can stop myself, I double over in a fit of laughter. The source of my laughter coming purely from the joy and relief bursting out from within me.
It still works!! It actually still-
I'm in a field. I'm running towards the sounds of giggles coming from the tall grass a couple of meters away
"Found you!" The sound comes from my mouth, but it's not my voice. It's his voice.
Justin Miller- the man I left on the side of the road merely half an hour ago. I close my eyes, relishing in the memories. His memories.
A little girl's head pops up from within the grass- her pony tails on either side of her head whipping about in the breeze as she skips in circles around me in fits of giggles.
"Come on, mum and dad will want us home soon" i hear my voice say. Taking her by the hand and walking through the field with her, over the fence and into the street- walking under the pastel pinks, fused with orange and purple colours of the sunset.
My whole body feels numb, my mind taking over- I don't even realise that I'm laying in the middle of the alleyway, flat on my back. But I don't care.
The images flipping through my mind go from birthdays, to christmases- a whole lifetime presented to me through the illusions of my own mind.
I could get used to this. In some ways, I guess I already have. Who wouldn't?
So many happy memories, replacing my own hollow mind. Filling that once empty void. It can become an addiction. A drug.
