My Medication // N.H. ✔️

It's So Fun!

I walked out the bathroom with towel on my body.
"Huh?" I whispered when I stepped on something and moved my foot away to pick it up. I stared at the baggy, seeing tablets.
"Is this MDMA?" I asked myself and looked at the other side of them. To see butterflies, hearts and other craved shit. I gently put it on the night stand and got dressed.
My arms wrapped around myself sitting on sofa, in living room... In complete silence. Just the clock ticking sound to be heard. I exhaled feeling lonely. My hand slowly took out the baggy I found. It's clearly Niall's. He probably lost it while cleaning my room. There was 3 of them. Ugh, devil on my shoulder is whispering to take them but the little Jesus on my shoulder not. What should I do?
"Ah, fuck it." I shrugged my shoulders and dropped all of them in my mouth, swallowing. I looked around and relaxed waiting for drugs to work.
"Mhm, just like that..." I smiled brightly when that good feeling rushed through me and every problem just faded away. All I felt is my heart beating fast and muscles getting intense while having a sweat but that was nothing against the euphoric feeling. Uuu, everything was so beautiful and looked so fun. Especially, that bottle... He looked so attractive and smiley. It even called me to him. I got up swinging side to side.
"Pff, looks tasty." I giggled opening up the bottle and pouring its inside to my mouth. I coughed from the strong taste but quickly finished it. I shaked my head dropping the empty bottle on floor wiping lips.
"This is so fun!" I laughed jumping on my parents bed until I dropped on floor.
"That tickled..." I smiled and saw blood from my eyebrow dripping. I tasted my own blood...
I hugged my legs crying, sitting in the corner when drugs stopped working. I stared at the wall without emotions feeling the worst I will ever feel.
"Nobody needs me..." I whispered and went to my bathroom quickly grabbing the razor. I breathed in and out unrolling my sleeves. Watching at those cuts. And then there appeared new ones.. Letting my blood run through my skin and on floor. I sobbed getting on my knees.

This... Drugs... Harming myself, drinking, not eating. All the depression feeling became my everyday life until I felt so addicted to drugs I couldn't spent a whole day without it.