broken silence

chapter 4

        Three weeks had passed since I left chris standing at the side of the building. absolutely everything had changed, but was yet utterly the way it used to be. Chris didn't speak to me or even look at me when I was near. Lacy always wanted to talk about chris or parker. And again parker was with me just about everywhere I went. Thankfully I always had excuses to not have sex with him. Like it was that time of the month, or that I had to study cause I was failing a class or that I had to babysit billy because my mom was working.

        One night my mom came into my room. "how come parker hasn't been around lately?" another reason I've stayed with parker for so long is that my mother absolutely adored him."um, he's been working a lot lately." I replied. She smiled  "oh, ok I was just worried you were having problems" clearly satisfied she left my room. The police had closed the case with the girl, cause it was definitely a suicide. Apparently she had tried to kill herself before and was always hurting herself to get attention. When actually it was more like parker would hurt her so she wouldn't tell me what was going on with them. so that she wouldn't tell me that he was cheating on me.

        I heard a light tapping sound on my window.shit What if it was parker? I tried to ignore it but it wouldn't stop so I went to my window slowly opening it. "sam?" I heard someone whisper. I let my eyes adjust to the dark and saw that it wasn't Parker but Chris. "chris what are you doing here? You need to leave." I said through gritted teeth. "sam Im not leaving until you come down here and talk to me." I needed him to leave quickly so I nodded and crept downstairs once outside chris lead me to the edge of my house where the woods were. "What do you want I told you before I don't want to talk to you," I spat. "yeah well we'll see about that"  that's when he grabbed me and kissed me. It was a tender and gentle kiss. One that meant many different things but most of all meant that he would never hurt me. Suddenly feelings that I thought I couldnt control came to life. I couldn't help but feel completely safe when Chris was near so I kissed him back. When I gave a silent moan he stopped and kissed my foreheard. I didn't know what to do. He looked at me"now tell me that you don't love me" he pleaded. I looked away from him, what was I to say, he already knew I did, but I just coudnt do anything. So I started to cry, quickly he pulled me closer and held me. When there were no more tears I looked at him and said "chris I just don't know what to do I just need some time ok?" he smiled and kissed me again. "yeah ok, ive waited three years I think I can wait a little longer." He replied. I laughed. When he left I walked back to my porch.

           Just as I was about to go inside someone grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the house hard. I couldn't see who it was at first I could only concentrate on the piercing pain I felt in my arms. That's when he lowered his head and whispered in my ear. "how could you do this to me and with him none the less, your such a whore, always giving any guy that looks at you an open invitation to take you away from me. But I told you sam your mine and you always will be mine." Parkers voice was as sharp as knives but not as bad as the grip he had on my arms. The next thing I knew he threw me to the ground and started to drag me into the woods. I couldn't move or do anything he was to strong to break free from, like all the other times he had all the control. When he finally stopped he kicked my side, and made me loose my breath. "parker please stop its not what you think." I choked out in between sobs. "I saw you with my own eyes sam, don't lie to me, I saw you." He yelled and kicked me again. "so...its ok for you to sleep with someone else but its not ok for me to talk to other guys?" once I said those words I bit my tongue. I never should have said that and I knew how much of a mistake it was when I saw his eyes. those beautiful eyes I used to love turned cold like they did that night.

         That's when he got on top of me holding my wrists with one hand and unbuttoning my shirt with the other. He kissed me and whispered in my ear. "I will show you that you belong to me and I will teach you what its like to even think of leaving me." I felt his hand move down to my pants unzipping them and pulling them down. Then I heard him unzip his own pants. "parker please don't, stop." I begged, but I knew that he wouldn't so I just laid there crying until it was over. When he finished he held me close to him moving my hair from my face and wiping away my tears. "im sorry I had to do that to you, I love you, and you just need to understand that your mine and no one elses." I just laid there and cried. When he brought me back to my house he said that I should just tell my mom I didn't feel well so that I could stay home from school tomorrow. dazed I just nodded. he kissed me goodbye then got in his car and drove away.