broken silence

chapter 3

After what happened with Chris, I told him that I should get home before my mom worried. When he dropped me off he kissed me. "I really do love you Sam." "I know" I replied and got out of the car. when I reached the door I looked back and waved goodbye. I was hit by a wave of heat as I entered. I heard my brother in the living room watching TV. "Hey Billy where's mom?" I asked. "She's working late again, hey Sam come here and watch this" he yelled back. I looked at the TV, it was on the news. "what happened?" I asked hesitantly  "they found a girl's body, isn't that cool? I mean nothing like that ever happens here." He replied fascinated. My heart stopped and I couldn't breathe all I could do was listen to the news women. "police are ruling the death as a suicide" suicide? How could they possibly think that? Parker mush have done something when I ran away. "sam, you ok" billy asked. "yeah im fine. Just a little hungry ill go make dinner and why dont you watch cartoons like normal eleven year old boys?" I had to get away from this room. He looked at me with a hurt expression, "well that's because cartoons are immature and aren't nearly as exciting as world events" I laughed at him weakly "ill be back in a minute"

            I walked to my room. I couldn't help but cry again I wanted to be with chris he always made everything feel better but I cant be with him, parker wont ever let me go, like he said I am and will always be his, not matter what. I jumped as my phone started ringing. shit it was six fifteen! always had to answer before the third ring. learned the hard way last year. "hello" I said into the receiver. "hey babe its me" parkers voice sent a shiver through me. "hey" I said. "did you watch the news we're ok like I said we would be. I told you no one would know, anyway I wont be in school tomorrow, because I have to work ok?" he said nonchalantly. Relieved I replied "oh that's ok Ill be fine I have lacy to hangout with, and you do need to work." He sighed with relief " im so glad that your ok with it, well I have to go, ok? I love you babe" he replied. "I love you to" I waited until I heard the phone click to put the phone down. Parker always hangs up first.

             What was I going to do when I saw chris tomorrow? Should I tell lacy, and worst of all what would parker do if he knew. Fear rushed through me as bile rose to my throat as images of last night flooded to my brain. I knew what parker would do, that's why I couldn't see chris anymore. thats why I knew what I had to do.

     I walked back downstairs to make dinner, billy of course was still watching tv. thankfully the news was over. I turned on the burner on the stove and heated some water. billy loved mac and cheese, the ones with the shapes of different cartoons or characters. when dinner was ready I called billy over to eat at the table. I tried keeping up the conversation but it was hard to focus knowing tomorrow I had to break Chris's heart all over again. when we broke up at the end of freshman year it was because he was going away for the summer to help his grandparents after his grandpas hip surgery. I cried my eyes out for weeks. a week before school stared was when I met parker at the pool. that was the day everything changed. and chris never dated anyone again.

       I woke up to my alarm clock, put on some jeans and a white tank top with a jacket over it. Billy as usual wasn't up yet so I went to his room. "billy time to get up." I yelled near his door. He groaned in reply so I went downstairs. Mom wasn't up yet so I left the house for school. As I walked lacy came up to me. "hey why didn't you call me yesterday to tell me how things went with parker?" she practically whinned. At that moment I saw chris standing by his locker, when he saw me he smiled and waved. "umm I had to cook dinner for billy, mom was working late again and then parker had called me sorry. I have to go to the bathroom." I replied. I quickly darted into the bathroom because chris was walking over to us. Lacy came in a little after "whats wrong with you? Chris said that you saw him and ran to the bathroom." "nothings wrong, parker just doesn't like chris, you know that, and I really don't feel like fighting with him anymore." I lied. Lacy nodded and checked outside to see if chris was still out there when she said he wasn't we went to class.

          While I was walking to my seat I looked over at chris, he was looking at me his expression a little angry. Good maybe he was mad at me and wont want to talk to me. that would make this a lot easier. I knew that chris would be with lacy at lunch so I went behind the school where me and parker usually go. To my surprise chris was there. When he saw me he said "we need to talk" I replied coldly "no we dont, last night, it meant nothing to me, I was just having a bad day and you were there. It could have happened with anyone." He looked hurt but went on "sam what are you talking about last night meant something to you and it meant something to me, I love you. I always have and I always will." I looked at him and harshly replied "don't you get it, I don't love you, I love parker and hes the one im going to spend my life with. I don't want you, you mean nothing to me." I knew that those were the words I needed to break his heart and make sure he left me alone. I turned and walked away not looking back.