The Show Must Go On | Randy

7 | Moments Worth Breaking For

For the first time in a while, the sun woke before I did. It was the bright rays beaming onto me through a Jack-shaped hole in the ceiling that caused my eyes to flutter open, yet I didn't want to move, not having ever woken up so comfortable before. 

The reason for that, of course, was Andy's tiny body wrapped around mine, his chest still rising and falling peacefully as he slept. I looked down at him, smiling, feeling like I could lie here forever and count the long eyelashes that rested against my chest, or memorise the location of every perfectly placed freckle creating constellations across his nose and cheeks. 

Andy was so unfairly beautiful. The longer I looked at him, the more doomed I became, because I only fell harder every second despite knowing I shouldn't. I stared and I let myself fall because it felt so good to do it, so right. Even though I knew it was a foolish thing to do, because everyone including Andy himself had warned me not to, and he was never going to look at me and feel the way I felt looking at him. 

He was going to break me, and I was going to let him. 

Andy stirred a little when I gave in to my impulse and stroked a hand across his cheek. I moved the hand to his hair, running my fingers through the soft blond strands, smiling as Andy hummed contently and snuggled further into my chest. Honestly it was worth breaking for moments like this, where Andy was too sleepy to care about rejecting me for my own sake, where he was soft and trusting and vulnerable instead of cutting and on his guard. I traced my fingers from the back of his neck down his arm, our fingers interlacing as I found his hand where it rested on my side. Andy's eyes slowly opened to meet mine. 

We stayed silent for a few moments as umber met aquamarine. Andy was freshly awake and I just didn't want to break the moment with words. Our fingers were intertwined and his nose was an inch from mine and though I tried to still my lips, the muscles in my face disobeyed and pulled them into a smile. Because in this moment I was so truly, utterly happy. 

"Hi," Andy said, smiling as well,  causing gorgeous dimples to appear on both of his cheeks. 

"Hi."

Andy broke the eye contact, leaning in to rest his head against my shoulder. 

"Thank you for last night," he mumbled into my skin. I reached up to stroke the back of his head. 

"Of course," I whispered, just grateful I had been the one he allowed to provide him with comfort. 

"You know I have to go soon," Andy said somewhat reluctantly, looking at me again. I felt a bubble of rage rise up within me as I remembered what today was- the whole reason why Andy had needed my comfort in the first place. 

"I don't think you should," I nearly growled, instinctively wrapping my arms tightly around him. I felt him sigh against my neck before placing a hand on my chest between us, gently pushing me away. 

"Rye-" he began.

"At least stay and talk about it," I begged him before he could say anything, "maybe we can figure out another solution."

Andy looked sceptical, like he didn't quite believe in the existence of another solution. I had to admit, I didn't have one in mind, I just couldn't bear the thought of him going with the duke, especially when the thought of it had made him so upset last night. Andy opened his mouth as if to refute me, but I sent him a pleading look, desperation clear in my eyes. Andy bit down on his lip, cutting off whatever he was about to say. 

"Okay," he relented. I smiled in relief. 

"I'll make us some tea," I offerred, rolling towards Andy again. I placed a gentle kiss near the corner of his mouth- the spot dipping into a dimple again as he smiled- then got out of bed.