𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐊𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 | 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 (𝓜)

The 8 by 8 Rule || XXII.

 Ao3 credit: rix

!WATERSPORTS WARNING!

summary: Jungkook drinks a lot of water. Taehyung's into it.

If you're the author and want this taken down, dm me, woopsie..

It's a common myth that humans need to drink eight cups of water a day.

And while Jungkook knows this isn't true, he does it anyway. Because apparently it can aid in fitness, or clean pores, or muscle tone, or something like that. Bottom line is he just wants to look good, and if that means having to head to the bathroom every hour, so be it.

"Jesus Christ," Taehyung grumbles when Jungkook has to get up for the third time since lying down. "Do you have any idea how annoying you're being right now? Do you?"

Jungkook rolls his eyes, pushing Taehyung's head off his chest as he sits up. "I just need to pee, it's not my fucking fault."

"Yes it is." Taehyung tries to pull Jungkook's upper body back down, but Jungkook quickly hops off the bed, escaping his insistent hands. "Just stop drinking so much water. Poof. Problem solved, like goddamn magic. Amazing, what some common sense can do for you."

"Fuck off. It's good for you," Jungkook says a little snootily.

"It makes my human pillow have to constantly get up and ruin my snuggles," Taehyung grumbles, and flops onto his back.

"Yeah, but it's good for you," Jungkook repeats. "Have you seen how hot I look recently?"

"You literally look the same."

"No, I'm harder." He lifts his shirt and grabs Taehyung's wrist, forcing him to touch the planes of his torso. "Sort of."

Jerking his hand free, Taehyung knocks his knuckles against Jungkook's abs with a blunt smack, snickering when he flinches. "Kook, nothing's changed. You're being dumb."

"You're being dumb." Jungkook swats Taehyung's hand away. "Whatever. I gotta pee."

As he leaves the room, Taehyung laughs after him, calling down the hall, "Wait babe, come on—baby, don't pout—"

"Shut up, I'm not pouting!" Jungkook yells back.

"I was just joking babe, you look really hot, I swear—"

"Shut up!"

There's a routine to this; Jungkook has it down pat.

Two cups of water in the morning, because that's when your body's the most dehydrated. Another whenever you eat. Two if you can. Three if you think you can take it. Basically, you spread it out, because consuming eight straight cups of water in one go would most likely result in vomiting. Maybe carry around a water bottle, and sip from it throughout the day. That's a good method. Jungkook likes that method.

"Still not done with your weird health kick?" Taehyung asks, entering the kitchen as Jungkook carefully works out two cups of water in a measuring cup. He's bent low to the counter, chin resting on the surface so he's eye-level with the red lines on the glass to see where the water lines up. Really, it's important to be precise.

"It's a lifestyle," Jungkook retorts.

"Is it now?"

"Mm-hm. You know, self-improvement, changing for the better, watching your health, all that." Jungkook lifts his hand to the rim of the measuring cup, slowly turning it to give it a better angle. "You wouldn't know, Tae. McDonald's is your damn religion. My body is a temple."