It Follows {Book One}

12

Monday, August 13
18 days

•Sicheng•

Sicheng felt as if he had been punched in the gut. The wind was knocked out of him, and he couldn't breathe. And not the painful, actually, not being able to breathe that he had been dealing with lately, mostly during the night when he'd wake up wheezing and gagging and crying and vomiting all over himself, and he'd make Yuta shower with him in the gym across the street because he was too scared to be alone after seeing Taeil's body. He took hot showers that left his skin raw and blistered because the steam brought him the slightest relief. No, this was the, "I'm so shocked right now" not being able to breathe.

Sicheng was ashamed. He couldn't even brush his own teeth. Hell, he tried, but his hands were shaking too violently, and he kept jabbing himself, until Yuta had enough and decided to do it for him. So Yuta would sit on the edge of the sink and Sicheng would stand between his legs, feeling like a little kid again because Yuta did it exactly the same as his mother used to before he knew how to brush his teeth by himself.

"That's . . . is that . . ." Sicheng slowly raised his arm from his side to point at a figure in the sidewalk a little ways ahead of them. He couldn't bring himself to say the name, but he knew exactly who was lying there motionless. Someone he hadn't spoken to in a while, but it still upset him. "Kyuhyun-"

"Shh," Yuta hushed him, pulling him to the other side of the street. Sicheng's eyes never left the body, even as they walked away. "That's not him, don't worry."

Yuta was lying. He knew that, but he wasn't mad. The small amount of skin that was exposed had turned grey, and chunks of flesh were missing. Sicheng didn't want to think about all the birds that had been picking at him. There weren't very many animals left either. A few here and there, but the ones who lived underground seemed to be okay. Sicheng absolutely hated how the bugs seemed to be thriving. But he decided, at least something good was happening. Even if it didn't have anything to do with him.

He still wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Taeyong would always shut him out of the room whenever the others would talk. He didn't know why, though. He was a grown-ish man, he could handle it. He didn't need to be pushed away, like Jisung and Chenle were, he'd seen plenty of stomach-churning stuff in medical school. He'd like to see any of the others open up a ribcage for open heart surgery. He'd like to see any of the others roll a perfect blunt every single time (with the exception of Jungwoo). They all treated him like a baby, but he was sure he had better sex than any of them.

He definitely wasn't a baby, as much as he started to feel like one recently.

"Renjun's having a breakdown."

Sicheng bit the inside of his cheek.

"He uh . . . he told Donghyuck that he was right. And then threw his laptop at him."

He tasted blood.

"It's totally smashed."

Sicheng bit the other side. Hard.

"Hey," Yuta suddenly stopped and squeezed Sicheng's hand to keep him from walking ahead. "What's wrong?"

Sicheng stared up at him. He was quiet for a minute, but Yuta was right, something had been bothering him for a while. Other than the obvious, of course. "Why don't you ever complain about having to take care of me?"

Yuta blinked. " . . . do you want me to?"

"I'm serious. If it was anybody else-"

"It's not anybody else, though. And to be honest, in this situation, no matter who it was, I'd still help them out. The last few nights have been hell for you."

"Yuta?"

"Hmm?"

Sicheng spit blood. "I need you to tell me what's going on. Why won't anyone tell me anything? I'm not a little kid, I want to know. I need to know," Sicheng reached up, twisting his fingers into Yuta's jacket. "Please." He added, when Yuta hesitated. "Why do I feel like shit all the time?"

Yuta let out a low sigh, reaching up to pull Sicheng's hands away from his jacket and instead, enveloping them in his own. "There's really no way to sugar coat this."

"I don't want you to."

"Are you sure?"

"What did I just say?" Sicheng groaned.

Another sigh. "The atmosphere is literally tearing itself apart."

Sicheng blinked.

"And we're all dying a slow, painful, death. Every single one of us."

At first, he didn't know what to say.

He couldn't say he hadn't expected this, because he did. He just didn't want to say anything, and then be wrong, and get laughed at and teased and, 'aw, Sicheng, you're so cute and stupid' * because that's definitely never happened before.

**(Literally everyone excluding Yuta, 2005-present)

Instead, Sicheng just pursed his lips and nodded. Yuta let go of his hands, running his own over Sicheng's sides lightly before pulling him closer. He rested his chin on his shoulder, rubbing his back. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Sicheng managed to say. His voice was muffled, but he didn't feel like turning his head to speak clearly. His face was burried in the crook of Yuta's neck, and he closed his eyes when Yuta started to rock them slowly. "I guess I already kind of knew that."

"Don't tell Taeyong I told you."