the five stages of grief, as they pertain to love [good omens, michael/uriel]

one: denial, part 3

At the time, the amount of physical contact between her and Michael during that affair hadn't really done much to Uriel emotionally. She'd been in too much pain to properly register the encounter as anything more than platonic comradery, so it was only in the aftermath that she understood just how intimate Michael had been with her back on Earth. It was, she realized, the first time she'd ever been held by another being, and oh, how nice it had been in retrospect! She found herself wanting it more and more until it drove her insane but had, for the most part, done a good job of repressing it. She had a reputation to uphold, after all, and going about trying to be all touchy-feely with a fellow Archangel was not a good look on her.

"So," Gabriel was seated across from Uriel as she rubbed out the taut, damaged muscle of her thigh through her clothing. Because the burn had been treated with holy water of such a low grade--in Michael's defense, they'd been in too big of a rush to bless it any further--there was still a sufficient amount of damage to the flesh and underlying muscle tissue, and thus required a bit of extra care. It had messed with Uriel's ability to walk for a while as well, requiring her to use a cane as an aid, but thankfully at the moment she could leave it resting against her desk, unused. "You said Ligur threw hellfire at you? That's...definitely not something I'd have expected from a Duke."

"I didn't see it coming either. Wish we hadn't underestimated them so much or else I might be walking straight." Uriel winced when she accidentally pressed down on a particularly tender spot. "I tried to shoot at his head with my crossbow and missed because of the damn stuff. Managed to hit him in the ass, though, so that's something."

Gabriel laughed. "Well, congratulations for that. You also told me Michael used some holy water on the burn you sustained."

"They did. That's where the scarring came from." Uriel smiled fondly. "Drew some nearby well-water and blessed it for me on the spot. It was kind of them, really. Michael even told me they thought the scarring was cool."

Gabriel paused, looking for a moment at where the other angel was rubbing out their leg muscles. "They saw the wound directly? Like, all the way up your leg?"

Uriel felt her cheeks go hot as she remembered how gently Michael had moved her robe up, just enough to expose the wound and keep her covered at the same time. "Um...yes?" How else was Michael supposed to treat the injury if they couldn't even see the damn thing?

"Uriel," The other Archangel looked at her disapprovingly, "With how far up that injury was, you realize it's considered indecent exposure to let her see any skin there, right?"

Uriel stared back blankly. "You mean to tell me that I shouldn't have let her see the burn, even though it was at least the size of my hand and would have seriously messed up my leg had she not treated it?"

"I'm just saying injury is no excuse for revealing yourself to a fellow angel." Gabriel explained defensively, hands up. "Michael mentioned it to me offhandedly, but I didn't realize...well. In retrospect I think theysounded rather uncomfortable about it at the time. I'm sure they aren't terribly upset with you but I do believe an apology is in order."

Uriel swallowed, suddenly feeling as guilty as she'd ever been.

"Right." She forced a sheepish smile. "My mistake, then. I will let Michael know I've recognized my error and am sorry."

"Wonderful!" Gabriel praised, giving her a pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure they will be grateful. You're so good to everyone, you know. Really, I wish I could get some of the underlings to be as pliant as you."

Uriel laughed nervously. "Yeah, those guys can be a real pain in the ass, can't they?"

Gabriel laughed too and left her with that, the door to her office swinging shut behind him. She watched him go, massaging the scarred leg with less pressure now, and as the automatic lock clicked into place she began to feel terrible. Uriel wondered whether the other mundane touches she and Michael had shared were considered indecent, if any of those had also made them feel uneasy; was it wrong for her to lean on them for support? And what about holding their hand when the pain was too much to bear? It was like all there was for Uriel to do was hide under the desk and await the sweet release of discorporation. Everything felt so overwhelming, her shame making the sides of her face burn more intensely than her leg, and so all she could muster the will to do for the next several minutes was sit numbly in her seat, staring off into nothing.

The idea of confronting Michael made her stomach turn, so now Uriel felt as though there had to be some other means of apologizing that didn't involve seeing them face-to-face. Eventually, though, it dawned on her; she could show her reverence through avoiding Michael at all costs again so she'd never have another opportunity to make some minor infraction of the celestial social rules and make them feel uneasy. After that, she did not leave her office unless absolutely necessary, miracling to hand anything she could possibly need or asking Sandalphon to get it for her. If ever there was a moment she did need to leave, she made sure to check the outside thoroughly for any trace of Michael, just so there was no chance of an accidental run it. It worked, and it went perfectly! Uriel was incredibly proud of her ingenuity.

She did eventually see Michael some time after that. In fact, Uriel saw them a handful of times since the talk with Gabriel, and she was proud to admit that not once had she even looked their way, save for whenever Michael wasn't focused on their immediate direction. Upon seeing the Archangel across the hallway one morning on an errand to the printer, Uriel immediately turned away from them and hurried her pace, hoping the other angel wouldn't try to get her attention. Unfortunately, however, Michael seemed to have other plans as indicated by a sharp tug on Uriel's blazer sleeve a moment later.

"Hey!" Uriel whipped her head around and looked at Michael like a deer in headlights. The other angel immediately pulled her hand away. "Good Lord, Uriel, why are you so jumpy? This is the first time I've seen you in ages. Is something the matter?"

"Nope!" Uriel insisted. "Just a bit late for a meeting, that's all!"

Michael looked her up and down skeptically. "Don't you usually go to meetings with a briefcase in hand?"

"It's, um..." Uriel realized two things in that moment. One, Michael's lipstick was a really nice shade of gold. Two, she obviously didn't have a real meeting to go to. She was simply making a run to the printer, which means she'd lied just now. Time to backtrack. "It's a personal affair. Don't worry about it!"

"You've been distant lately. It's so unlike you." The other angel tilted their head to the side slightly. "How's your leg doing?"

The mention of Uriel's leg was enough for everything she'd been bottling up to come pouring out.

"I apologize!" she blurted, falling to her knees, "Gabriel told me I'd made you uncomfortable when you were fixing up my leg and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since!"

Michael looked confused. "He...what?"

Uriel continued, "when you had to see the injury, because it was so far up my leg it was practically on my pelvis. He said it was indecent exposure." She'd never felt this ashamed in her entire life. This was the polar opposite of how she tried to conduct herself normally, such a far cry from her quiet and professional persona, and surely she could sense a terrible discomfort radiating off the other Archangel's form. "I apologize for my actions, Michael. It was horribly inappropriate of me."

Michael did not say anything for a long while. "You said it was Gabriel who put that idea in your head?"

Uriel nodded miserably. The other angel sighed, muttering something that sounded vaguely like 'that idiot'.

"Good Lord. He's a special kind of menace, that one." Michael assured her. "It's all well and good, I promise. I'm not mad at you."

The warm, fuzzy feeling came back with a vengeance and suddenly Uriel found it hard to function. "Oh! Um, thank you very much!" She said, uncharacteristically stumbling over her words. The other angel looked a bit confused.

"It's not an issue, really." They insisted. Uriel's joy didn't falter a bit, and she had to hastily excuse herself before she managed to step out of line again.